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post #1 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:17 PM Thread Starter
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Wiping my ass

What's the best/cheapest toliet paper on the market these days that won't scratch my ass....and should I go front to back, or back to front?? I would like to stay within the $10-$15 for 24 rolls. Thanks for your help in advance.

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post #2 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:21 PM
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Cheep toilet paper and baby wipes. A couple of wipes with cheep stuff is good then clean up with a baby wipe.

Always wipe north

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post #3 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:21 PM
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You could just use Tom's socks
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post #4 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:30 PM
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You should always wipe from the front to the rear if you are female. You wont get your girl parts dirty. Scott is cheap, but kinda sand paperish. I find you will use more of the cheap stuff, losing overall value in your purchase. and you will not be as clean. If cheap stuff is a must, wad up a bunch and dip in the water in the back of the tank, upper deck style. Then wipe, but be prepared, it is a little cold. I go mid line, like angel soft. Good value per sheet, good wiping ability.
And always wipe your ass with your left hand. It is the polite thing to do. Even though I wash my hands afterwords, everyone shakes with their right hand.

Last edited by Dave13; 11-16-2006 at 09:24 PM.
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post #5 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave13
You should always wipe from the front to the rear if you are female. You wont get your girl parts dirty. Scott is cheap, but kinda sand paperish. I find you will use more of the cheap stuff, losing overall value in your purchase. and you will not be as clean. If cheap stuff is a must, wad up a bunch and dip in the water in the back of the tank, upper deck style. Then wipe, but be prepared, it is a little cold. I go mid line, like angel soft. Good value per sheet, good wiping ability.
And always wipe your ass with your left hand. It is the polite thing to do. Even though I wash my hands afterwords, everyone shakes with their left hand.

What in the fuck are you talking about????

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post #6 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grasshopper
What in the fuck are you talking about????
Dude, you never sit around thinking about better ways to wipe your ass? I have a lot of spare time at my job.
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post #7 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:39 PM
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post #8 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:40 PM
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You could just use Tom's socks

+1 and wash it each time, your stanky ass!



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post #9 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:42 PM
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Whats wrong Ken, you never had to wipe your ass with a sock? If not, you're not a real outdoorsman. A real hunter wipes his ass with his sock.

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post #10 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:43 PM
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or his hunting buddy's pillowcase

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post #11 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grasshopper
Whats wrong Ken, you never had to wipe your ass with a sock? If not, you're not a real outdoorsman. A real hunter wipes his ass with his sock.
Used socks before for clean up, but not for wiping my ass.
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post #12 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hexraptor
or his hunting buddy's pillowcase
Have you done this? If so, you are never sleeping at my house again. The spare bedroom is off limits buddy.

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post #13 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:48 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grasshopper
Cheep toilet paper and baby wipes. A couple of wipes with cheep stuff is good then clean up with a baby wipe.

Always wipe north
Baby wipes or the Charmin wet wipes are fantastic!!

KJ
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post #14 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:48 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grasshopper
Have you done this? If so, you are never sleeping at my house again. The spare bedroom is off limits buddy.
oops....

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post #15 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:50 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grasshopper
Have you done this? If so, you are never sleeping at my house again. The spare bedroom is off limits buddy.
He probably took a shit and dragged his ass all over your new floors, and then you blamed it on Boogers!!!!

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post #16 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 09:59 PM
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actually...i shat in the 'upper deck' toilet area, then wiped my ass on the floors and blamed it on the dog lol

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post #17 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:09 PM
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Just steal TP from out-houses. The cheepest yet.

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hahahaha, nice try. Everyone knows men age like wine and women age like milk. It's a scientific fact!!
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post #18 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:09 PM

 
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WOW what a thread kristal
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post #19 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:10 PM
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WOW what a thread kristal
Hey Dan, go steal some more gas, let us know how it goes. Better yet, let us know if they have WI FI from 26th and California

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post #20 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:11 PM
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You're supposed to wipe your ass?

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post #21 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slowass
You're supposed to wipe your ass?
Every once in a while, if it starts itching.

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post #22 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:15 PM
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The puppy doesn't wipe her ass.

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post #23 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slowass
The puppy doesn't wipe her ass.
NO SHIT! She drags her ass across the lawn

IF I could drag my ass across the lawn I wouldn't wipe my ass either. To the puppy.

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post #24 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:16 PM
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well unless your flexible enough to lick your butt clean....i guess you have wipe

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post #25 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grasshopper
NO SHIT! She drags her ass across the lawn

IF I could drag my ass across the lawn I wouldn't wipe my ass either. To the puppy.


Lucky dog

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hahahaha, nice try. Everyone knows men age like wine and women age like milk. It's a scientific fact!!
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post #26 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:17 PM

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grasshopper
Hey Dan, go steal some more gas, let us know how it goes. Better yet, let us know if they have WI FI from 26th and California
wait how did you know i was also stealing bandwith at the time?
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post #27 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grasshopper
Always wipe north
Who brings a compass to the bathroom?

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post #28 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:21 PM
To Punish and Enslave
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slowass
Who brings a compass to the bathroom?
And for the people who do, where do you keep it?

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hahahaha, nice try. Everyone knows men age like wine and women age like milk. It's a scientific fact!!
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post #29 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:25 PM
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i think this is the oddest thread ive seen.... always wipe north?? lol that cracks me up

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post #30 of 156 (permalink) Old 11-15-2006, 10:27 PM
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I don't care what, town, city, country or bathroom I am in, I always know to wipe north. Wiping south is bad news. Who wants a dirty rotten chode?

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