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post #1 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 01:34 PM Thread Starter
freaking newbies, man there slow, ha ha ha
 
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I hate macs

Funny read...entertaining at least

Charlie Brooker
Monday February 5, 2007
The Guardian

Unless you have been walking around with your eyes closed, and your head encased in a block of concrete, with a blindfold tied round it, in the dark - unless you have been doing that, you surely can't have failed to notice the current Apple Macintosh campaign starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb, which has taken over magazines, newspapers and the internet in a series of brutal coordinated attacks aimed at causing massive loss of resistance. While I don't have anything against shameless promotion per se (after all, within these very brackets I'm promoting my own BBC4 show, which starts tonight at 10pm), there is something infuriating about this particular blitz. In the ads, Webb plays a Mac while Mitchell adopts the mantle of a PC. We know this because they say so right at the start of the ad.

"Hello, I'm a Mac," says Webb.

"And I'm a PC," adds Mitchell.

They then perform a small comic vignette aimed at highlighting the differences between the two computers. So in one, the PC has a "nasty virus" that makes him sneeze like a plague victim; in another, he keeps freezing up and having to reboot. This is a subtle way of saying PCs are unreliable. Mitchell, incidentally, is wearing a nerdy, conservative suit throughout, while Webb is dressed in laid-back contemporary casual wear. This is a subtle way of saying Macs are cool.

The ads are adapted from a near-identical American campaign - the only difference is the use of Mitchell and Webb. They are a logical choice in one sense (everyone likes them), but a curious choice in another, since they are best known for the television series Peep Show - probably the best sitcom of the past five years - in which Mitchell plays a repressed, neurotic underdog, and Webb plays a selfish, self-regarding poseur. So when you see the ads, you think, "PCs are a bit rubbish yet ultimately lovable, whereas Macs are just smug, preening tossers." In other words, it is a devastatingly accurate campaign.

I hate Macs. I have always hated Macs. I hate people who use Macs. I even hate people who don't use Macs but sometimes wish they did. Macs are glorified Fisher-Price activity centres for adults; computers for scaredy cats too nervous to learn how proper computers work; computers for people who earnestly believe in feng shui.

PCs are the ramshackle computers of the people. You can build your own from scratch, then customise it into oblivion. Sometimes you have to slap it to make it work properly, just like the Tardis (Doctor Who, incidentally, would definitely use a PC). PCs have charm; Macs ooze pretension. When I sit down to use a Mac, the first thing I think is, "I hate Macs", and then I think, "Why has this rubbish aspirational ornament only got one mouse button?" Losing that second mouse button feels like losing a limb. If the ads were really honest, Webb would be standing there with one arm, struggling to open a packet of peanuts while Mitchell effortlessly tore his apart with both hands. But then, if the ads were really honest, Webb would be dressed in unbelievably po-faced avant-garde clothing with a gigantic glowing apple on his back. And instead of conducting a proper conversation, he would be repeatedly congratulating himself for looking so cool, and banging on about how he was going to use his new laptop to write a novel, without ever getting round to doing it, like a mediocre idiot.

Cue 10 years of nasal bleating from Mac-likers who profess to like Macs not because they are fashionable, but because "they are just better". Mac owners often sneer that kind of defence back at you when you mock their silly, posturing contraptions, because in doing so, you have inadvertently put your finger on the dark fear haunting their feeble, quivering soul - that in some sense, they are a superficial semi-person assembled from packaging; an infinitely sad, second-rate replicant who doesn't really know what they are doing here, but feels vaguely significant and creative each time they gaze at their sleek designer machine. And the more deftly constructed and wittily argued their defence, the more terrified and wounded they secretly are.

Aside from crowing about sartorial differences, the adverts also make a big deal about PCs being associated with "work stuff" (Boo! Offices! Boo!), as opposed to Macs, which are apparently better at "fun stuff". How insecure is that? And how inaccurate? Better at "fun stuff", my arse. The only way to have fun with a Mac is to poke its insufferable owner in the eye. For proof, stroll into any decent games shop and cast your eye over the exhaustive range of cutting-edge computer games available exclusively for the PC, then compare that with the sort of rubbish you get on the Mac. Myst, the most pompous and boring videogame of all time, a plodding, dismal "adventure" in which you wandered around solving tedious puzzles in a rubbish magic kingdom apparently modelled on pretentious album covers, originated on the Mac in 1993. That same year, the first shoot-'em-up game, Doom, was released on the PC. This tells you all you will ever need to know about the Mac's relationship with "fun".

Ultimately the campaign's biggest flaw is that it perpetuates the notion that consumers somehow "define themselves" with the technology they choose. If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother. You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality. Of course, that hasn't stopped me slagging off Mac owners, with a series of sweeping generalisations, for the past 900 words, but that is what the ads do to PCs. Besides, that's what we PC owners are like - unreliable, idiosyncratic and gleefully unfair. And if you'll excuse me now, I feel an unexpected crash coming.

This week: Charlie watched some episodes of Larry Sanders (on his PC). He played the customised Fawlty Towers map for Counterstrike (on his PC). He listened to the Windows startup jingle every 10 minutes as his PC repeatedly rebooted itself.
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post #2 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 01:40 PM
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The author needs a little less caffeine in his diet.

I'm not partial to either PC's or Macs. I've never owned a Mac and probably won't because the cost a lot and I can't play as many games on them. That being said, I don't hate Macs.

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post #3 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 01:44 PM
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Macs just suk.

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post #4 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 02:03 PM
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Couldn't have said it better myself. Leave it to the English to perfect the use of um... English.

Quote:
So when you see the ads, you think, "PCs are a bit rubbish yet ultimately lovable, whereas Macs are just smug, preening tossers." In other words, it is a devastatingly accurate campaign.

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post #5 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 02:13 PM
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In spite of the folks that don't like the ad campaign, Apple pundits say that it is the most successful campaign they have ever run.

Remember all those CLIO award winning ads? They did nothing for sales, only won awards.

1984 Commercial - considered by many ad execs as the greatest commercial ever, did NOTHING for sales.

Apple Lemmings - How about this one? It pissed off all the IT execs.... and it was jsut copied YESTERDAY on the SuperBowl ads with CareerBuilder.com

Apple HAL 9000 - This one was for the Y2K debacle...

Apple PORN - Of course, who wouldn't remember this one!

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post #6 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 02:15 PM

 
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There are two types of PC users.
Those that haven't used a Mac yet.
Those that have. They're called Mac users.

Once you trouble shoot a problem, see how logical they are, and isolate your problem, you can't help but fall in love.

Back when Microsoft had DOS, Apple had this weird stuff with Folders and Windows and stuff. It was kind of neat, you could just drag an icon of a file to new place or folder. None of that copy *.* C:\dos\subfolder\newfolder\wish\this\was\a\mac

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post #7 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 02:20 PM
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Macs still suk.

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post #8 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 02:22 PM
You got the talkin' done
 
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I love it. Well done. There are certain cars that make me feel like this too.

Favorite lines:

"The only way to have fun with a Mac is to poke its insufferable owner in the eye."

"If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother. You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality."

Quote:
Originally Posted by gkotlin View Post
Back when Microsoft had DOS, Apple had this weird stuff with Folders and Windows and stuff.
You say this like they invented it. Didn't they steal that from Xerox and then didn't MS steal is from Apple?

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post #9 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 02:26 PM

 
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They were doing things easier long before the PC. I really wish they would become more mainstream.

everytime I installed a sound card and had an IRQ and DMA conflict (back before there was sharing) I would praise the MAC.

I also haven't used a MAC OS since about OS 9 or 10. So my opinoins are dated.

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post #10 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 02:29 PM

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jrock View Post
You say this like they invented it. Didn't they steal that from Xerox and then didn't MS steal is from Apple?
I guess I'm not that old.

I got started in PC's in about 1991. I almost laughed myself halfway to Australia when someone showed me an 8 inch floppy disk. 180k per side!

I thought he was kidding. I thought it was a Fisher Price my first floppy disk kit. Is that disk box on your desk, or a small refridgerator.

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post #11 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 02:34 PM
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Correction:

Licensed from Xerox by Apple (no license violations)
Licensed from Apple by Microsoft (HUGE lawsuit over the license violations, which Apple eventually gave up on)

Either way, why do we even bring this up?

Macs suk.

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post #12 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 02:44 PM

 
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Hahaha.......

Insert Sad Mac face here. My pc is being goofy with photos.

The end.....

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post #13 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 02:50 PM
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Oh no, not this subject again.

I did just read a interview with Bill Gates regarding the same subject about the commercials. His responses:

"I've never seen it. I don't think the over 90 percent of the [population] who use Windows PCs think of themselves as dullards, or the kind of klutzes that somebody is trying to say they are."

Awesome!

And Gates said this:

"Letís be realistic, who came up with [the] file, edit, view, help [menu bar]? Do you want to go back to the original Mac and think about where those interface concepts came from?"

Stick it back to them Bill



If anyone cares to read the entire story > http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16934083...wsweek/page/2/


Anyone with a brain can tell you those commercials are a joke and the furthest from the truth. Microsoft isn't going to go away based on some dumb ass commercials. The business environment alone will be MS for years to come... hell, the number of software vendors out there alone that support strictly MS office is huge... sure you can get open office but there are integrations made to many softwares out there that won't support anything but MS office. Good luck Crapple.

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post #14 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 03:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gkotlin View Post
They were doing things easier long before the PC. I really wish they would become more mainstream.

everytime I installed a sound card and had an IRQ and DMA conflict (back before there was sharing) I would praise the MAC.

I also haven't used a MAC OS since about OS 9 or 10. So my opinoins are dated.
Well since I've been in the business from before the PC or MAC I don't understand what was easier. Everything on the early macs were proprietary. You had VERY limited options of upgrading.

Another point I'll make about back in the day is... There were tons of MS DOS based software out there back then and a very limited CRAPPY apps out for the apple back then. When we moved into the VGA era, the software explosion hit and there were tons of apps I'd say probably triple the amount of software available for the PC over apple. The software was getting ahead of the supporting hardware and necessary config modifications were needed.

So looking back, yeah there was some manual configs going on, but that was because you were installing the latest and greatest hardware. Where the apple systems you ended up buying a whole new machine to keep up. As I said before the upgrades were very limited on apples compared to PC.

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post #15 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 03:12 PM

 
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Yea, the proprietary stuff was a pain. But back then you really couldn't do 3 hard drives on a PC in IDE, or MFM / RLL. You could put 7 on your Mac.

Oh well. That was then.

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post #16 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 03:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gkotlin View Post
There are two types of PC users.
Those that haven't used a Mac yet.
Those that have. They're called Mac users.
I'm the third type. I grew up with Apple's and have had my hands on and in more different Macintosh computers than probably anyone here. Then I switched to PCs.

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post #17 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 03:41 PM
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The Amiga had the plug-and-play before either of them (Autoconfig).
Most core business crown jewels run on OS's that predate both windows and macos.

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post #18 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 03:42 PM
BSB > WSBK > MotoGP
 
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What's macos? A new cereal?

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post #19 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 03:47 PM
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Quote:
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What's macos? A new cereal?
It's related to this:


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post #20 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 04:01 PM
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I'd love to use PC hardware (read AMD and nVidia/SLI) and an OS different from Apple and MS..... but linux isn't there quite yet as far as compatibility with all my gaming.
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post #21 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 04:04 PM
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2 fingers

I have a DOI PC at home and work on a Mac at work. I hate the Mac. And yes, it sucks the extra button isn't there. I mean scroll bar?! I use the wheel on my mouse. Mates

There is nothing fabulous about it and see through plastic is played out.

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post #22 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 04:13 PM
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You were aware that any usb mouse will work on a mac, right? Unless, you're using some ancient POS from pre-2000

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post #23 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-05-2007, 04:14 PM
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post #24 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-07-2007, 10:35 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch View Post
You were aware that any usb mouse will work on a mac, right? Unless, you're using some ancient POS from pre-2000
LOL

Yes, I know that. Just makes no sense that the stock mouse is like a cyclops of sorts.

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post #25 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-07-2007, 10:39 AM
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Quote:
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LOL

Yes, I know that. Just makes no sense that the stock mouse is like a cyclops of sorts.
The stock mouse is has for over a year been the mighty mouse w/ multiple buttons and 360 degree wheel.

This is like saying PCs suck because people need more than 640K of RAM.

Stay w/ current.

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post #26 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-07-2007, 10:44 AM
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Huh?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch View Post
The stock mouse is has for over a year been the mighty mouse w/ multiple buttons and 360 degree wheel.

This is like saying PCs suck because people need more than 640K of RAM.

Stay w/ current.
I'm referring to Mac's mouse. The one button only thing. What are you talking about homie?

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post #27 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-07-2007, 10:53 AM
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Actually Mac's new mouse is still technically one button, but it has pressure sensors that recognizes if you are pushing on the left or right side.

That said, I've been using a two button mouse on my Mac's for quite awhile :P
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post #28 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-07-2007, 10:59 AM
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Franky Four Fingers

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keyhole View Post
Actually Mac's new mouse is still technically one button, but it has pressure sensors that recognizes if you are pushing on the left or right side.

That said, I've been using a two button mouse on my Mac's for quite awhile :P
I stand corrected.

I still hate the over rated Mac's though. The article is, for the most part, dead on.

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post #29 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-07-2007, 11:12 AM
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There are the clueless zealots out there for everything that exists that think their toy is the answer to everyone and no one could possibly need anything else. Most people outgrow that self-centric stage in life, but obviously a lot never do.

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post #30 of 126 (permalink) Old 02-07-2007, 12:46 PM Thread Starter
freaking newbies, man there slow, ha ha ha
 
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I didn't start this to really bash macs. I just think it was a funny article...written in a british tone makes it even better.

There are plenty of people out there who buy macs as status symbols, Motorola KRZR phones, Escalades, and so on. There is the practical use for Macs and then there's the "check us out we're hip" side. But who wouldn't want to market their product that way?
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