Top Ten Signs An Astronaut Is Trying To Kill You
10 - Says, "This is a giant leap for mankind" as she tosses you off a bridge
9 - You turn on CNN and see the Hubble Telescope focusing on your house
8 - She promises to "Take you out like Pluto"
7 - It sounds crazy, but you could swear Mars is following you
6 - You were on the "Maury" episode: "I Had A Booty Call And Now An Astronaut Is Trying To Kill Me"
5 - Her previous attempts to kill you have been postponed due to high winds
4 - She poisons your Tang
3 - Says she looks forward to being the first to walk on your lifeless corpse
2 - Been getting threatening emails from [email protected]
#1 -She keeps stabbing you with a pen that writes upside down.