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Kids.....

2K views 83 replies 26 participants last post by  blackrose613 
#1 ·
A buddy of mines daughter IMed me last night and she is having a hard time dumping her b/f. She told me that he beats her and a lot of verbal abuse. I told her she needs to do it, but she doesn’t want me to say anything to her dad. Her dad is as big as Ken, so he’s not a guy to mess with. I don’t want to see the kid get hurt especially that I now know about this. She said she doesn’t have the heart to dump him. I did tell her she should talk to her dad and she wouldn’t need to dump him, because her dad would take care of it.
Should I wait and if she doesn’t in a week or so, or just tell my friend?
Now I would love just to kick this punks ass and be done with it.
 
#2 ·
id say we have a meet at said bf's house and stomp this useless shit into the ground. Any guy who hits a girl deserves to die.


but seriously, tell the dad...She doesnt need to put up with that and doesnt deserve it.
 
#4 ·
1. Not having the heart to dump a guy that beats you and verbally abuses you is lame.

2. If he beats her that's domestic abuse and the police need to get involved. Since you know about it you have an obligation to report it to the police. I also suggest you tell the dad about it. It might make the girl mad, but its better if she's mad at you than in the hospital from "falling down some stairs."
 
#29 ·
2. If he beats her that's domestic abuse and the police need to get involved. Since you know about it you have an obligation to report it to the police. I also suggest you tell the dad about it. It might make the girl mad, but its better if she's mad at you than in the hospital from "falling down some stairs."
Probably the best advice here. However, this could solve everything, or make things possible worse if the police aren't able to file charges. I'd at least tell the dad about it, or, if you want, buy me a tank of gas, a 6 pack, and give me an addy
 
#5 ·
Keep this in mind:

Daughters usually go looking for 'dad' in the guys they pursue or are attracted to.

It sounds like the daughter has no self-worth or self esteem which is the real root of the issue. The next BF will be no better until that is addressed.
 
#6 ·
She has a big heart and this ass even has her pay his cell phone bill. I think I’ll call my friend tonight. I was going to wait because she did say she would do it by the end of the week, but I don’t think I can wait that long.
 
#71 ·
if it were turned around.. would u want your friend to tell you? and unless u and her are very close, then y would she be telling you uunless she wanted you to tell her father?
 
#7 ·
Should I wait and if she doesn’t in a week or so, or just tell my friend?
I think the fact that she told you about it is her way of asking for help. So help her and tell her parents. She might be mad at you, but if this dude hurts her bad you will feel much worse.

Also, she need counseling - she obviously has low self-esteem.
 
#9 ·
Also, she need counseling - she obviously has low self-esteem.
She does, but she's such a good kid. Smart and pretty. I think all 16 yr olds have a low self esteem issue now a days also.
 
#8 ·
She’s a daddy’s girl and she told me if she told her dad she would feel like she disappointed him. I told her he be more disappointed in her if she didn’t tell him.
 
#13 · (Edited)
1. What are you doing talking to a youngin'?:laughing:
2. Tell the dad, who gives a shit what the little kid thinks, the shit being done to her is a no no.
3. Once your buddy (girls father) finds out that you knew and didn't tell him, it's safe to say that you'd catch some shit too.
 
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#14 ·
Tell her either talk to you dad tonight or your calling him first thing tomorrow. Then call him and talk to him anyway just to make sure.
 
#18 ·
Opinion from a father of four daughters (ME)

I tmost certainly is the job of the father to instill self-esteem in his children. Also, it should be know that a daughter many times will seek out a boyfriend who reminds them of their father, and this is not always a positive thing. A daughter with an abusive father will more than likely end up with an abusive boyfriend or husband.

I think that you should encourage her to tell her father. I think that should she not make the decision to do so, you give her a date to do it by. And then YOU tell him. You must respect her, and support her. By doing so, you help her self-esteem. By allowing her to continue, knowing the situation, you can be lowering her self-esteem.

Either way, as a Father, I want to know. And I want to know sooner, rather than later. Later just increases risk for everyone, as well as stretches friendships.

Tell her to split by Friday night, or you will tell Dad.

Just my .02.
 
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#19 ·
I think i will talk to him tonight. And trust me, what I say to her is stuff i could care less if my friend reads and i talk to her as if he is right there reading everything. We're all close because we all camp together up in Wisconsin. i was thinking about calling her mom also, just because i know how i am and women are more level headed.
 
#20 ·
This will probably get dragged out as long as possible so he can continue to use this poor girl's situation to provide some spice in his own life.

Thsi girl's life is fucked unless she gets some help. And I mean help outside of her family and friends. She has issues that are most likely caused by her past and current environment.

You should refer her to her high school counselor. Forget the dad, forget the boyfriend. Focus on the girl. Have her talk to her high school counselor.
 
#21 ·
You should refer her to her high school counselor. Forget the dad, forget the boyfriend. Focus on the girl. Have her talk to her high school counselor.
She home schooled
 
#22 ·
This whole scenario is fishy as all hell.
 
#23 ·
Talk to the girl again and tell her she NEEDS to tell her dad/break it off with the fucknut. TONIGHT not friday or tomorrow or two weeks from wednesday. It's a bad thing that only gets worse, and the more help she has in the first few weeks the better it'll be for everyone.
 
#27 ·
Tell her dad! I know first hand about this shit and most of the time the girl stays with the guy because she is too ashamed to tell anyone that can help her out or she is just too scared to leave him and deal with the repercussions. If you make the father aware of it, I'm sure he will handle it and although she might not realize it now, it will be doing her a huge favor!
 
#30 ·
Now what are the chances she's not breaking up out of fear? Like he would do something to her if she does? I just emailed her she has till Friday, but I am having a hard time waiting. I also said in the email I really think she should tell one of her parents.
 
#32 ·
Just call the dad already!! She'll end up changing her mind and begging you to keep it a secret, do it before that happens.
 
#34 ·
If this guy is beating her, he's obviously a violent person. You have to handle this the correct way to keep the girl safe!!!! If you tell the dad I'm sure he'll blow a gasket and go after the guy. The guy isn't going to be pleased that she has gone off and told people about him beating her, and he could very well beat the ever living shit outta her for doing so. That is why you have to really think things through and make sure it's handled properly. I would go pay a visit to the friend, sit down with the dad, mom, the girl, and you, and discuss it all. This isn't just something you email or call a friend to tell.

When I was 19 I was with a guy for a yr, and then he got all effed up one night and started throwing me around, choking me, and I punched him and shoved his face in the pavement. He left after that, because I was able to get back in my apt and lock the door when he was down. He left, and I called the police, he found out, and came back later that night and broke into my apt. I wasn't home, and when I had gotten home he was gone. Who knows what would have happened had I been home. Anyway, I'm not at all fucked up from any other that. I never once EVER thought about giving him another "chance" when girls do that shit, it's crazy, and I'll never get it. Anyway, hopefully this from a girls point of view helps you make the right decision. :)
 
#35 ·
Dude, tell your friend immediately, thats what friends do, and go with him to kick the fuck out of the boyfriend, thats what friends to to fucktards that beat up on women not to mention this is your friends daughter. WTF. If you need help kicking the fuck out of him, I will come too.

The daughter is obviously reaching out.
 
#36 ·
GO TELL DAD RIGHT NOW. GO TELL DAD RIGHT NOW. GO TELL DAD RIGHT NOW. GO TELL DAD RIGHT NOW. GO TELL DAD RIGHT NOW.

The sooner he knows the sooner this is over. Do you know how old her bf is? I find it hard to belive that a 16 yr old punk bitch is doing this already..
 
#37 ·
Do NOT link to this, as your friend might get mad about airing his "dirty laundry" on the internet. ;)

But yes do not wait and sit down with all as posted. This needs to be said and done asap.
 
#38 ·
Tell the Dad now but take the girl with, at least allow her the chance to break it to her dad with you there, that will help instill some trust and keep integrity.. Ultimately it is the safety of the girl that needs to be preserved..

Then, we can do a ride along with you as a CLSB group and visit the little shit!!!!

No really Talk to the Friend with the daughter.. Let her step up...
 
#39 ·
just make sure the dad doesnt go over there and beat this kid to a bloody pulp and get himself in some battery charges even though it'll be worth it in his eyes.
 
#40 ·
If the cops aren't worthless they won't care. When that crap happened to me, I was so pissed when I came back and saw what he did (tried to kill my dog by pouring lysol while he was in the cage, keyed the ever living shit outta my car, and basically ruined everything by getting blood everywhere because he cut himself breaking in) I was PISSED, and my mom was just as pissed, and I told the cops that I was seriously going to kill him, and my mom told the cops that she was going to find him and run him over with her truck. The Naperville cops said they didn't care, as long as we dragged him back in my apt after he was dead. :laughing
 
#43 ·
I think the best thing you can do is help / force her to tell her Dad.
YES! If you run and tell her dad without her knowing the girl is never going to trust you again. She obviously has no one else to reach out to, and if she loses the one person she CAN reach out to, who is she going to reach out to if there is a next time??? Just something to think about. This is why you have to talk her into doing it.
 
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