Who Says The Police Don't Have A Sense of Humor? - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-27-2007, 09:23 AM Thread Starter
You got the talkin' done
 
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Who Says The Police Don't Have A Sense of Humor?

I don't know if this is real, but ....




The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual Dallas Police car videos and distributed by Monica Smith, Director DPD Public Relations Officer:

#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#! 10. "Yes, sir, by all means you can talk to the shift supervisor if you think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you that when you run that stop sign again, I'll give you another ticket."

#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or! not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen Pal, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in horsey doo!"

#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4. "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPIC/NCIC.."

#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."



And................... THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1 "Excuse me ma'am? You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? Well, you are right, we don't. Now, sign here

If you ain't with us, then it's just bad news.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-27-2007, 10:06 AM
Old Squid on a Blade
 
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#1 rocks

There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-27-2007, 10:20 AM
.
 
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I've heard something similar to #14 from a local cop after Summit cops shot some dirtbag last year. He said "hey did you hear Summit cancelled some fuckhead's birth certificate yesterday".

-Ryan
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-27-2007, 10:31 AM
Go Speed! Go!
 
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#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." Is awesome!
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-27-2007, 10:39 AM
OBAMA FTW!!!!1!
 
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Good ones

<---- Andy

Gear saved my life - there is no luck involved in wearing gear.

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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-27-2007, 11:38 AM
REDLEG!!!!!
 
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all pretty good. but i think # 6 was funniest to me

Operating a motorcycle. So easy, even a caveman can do it. Knowing how to ride? Priceless.

Ray
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-27-2007, 12:56 PM
The neighbors hate me!!!
 
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I don't care how many times I've seen this list, it still makes me laugh.

"To be old and wise.... You must first be young and stupid."
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-27-2007, 01:53 PM
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those are pretty funny, i'll have to ask the copes over here if they have used those before
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