9 Ways to Get Revenge on Your Enemy - Chicagoland Sportbikes
Chicagoland Sportbikes
 
Open Forum This forum is for all off-topic discussion.

 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-12-2007, 01:50 PM Thread Starter
U-P-G-R-A-Y-E-D-D
 
FiReBReTHa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Aurora, IL
Posts: 11,172
Location: Aurora, IL
Sportbike: 04 GSXR6
Years Riding: 2
How you found us: I thought it was a line for muffins
           
Send a message via AIM to FiReBReTHa
9 Ways to Get Revenge on Your Enemy

http://www.shoutwire.com/comments/87..._on_Your_Enemy

Quote:
1. Screw his wife
This works best if you do it in full view of the entire internet. I mean… it works either way, but it’s a better dish if served up over a few entertainment websites. Give the video a “300” theme: make her call you “Leonidas” and scream “FOR SPARTA!” as you get down. Can you say epic?

2. Piss on his toothbrush
Dress up like a maintenance worker, Bruce Lee your way into his bathroom, and let loose a steady stream of cheap, regurgitated beer onto the head of his favorite tooth cleaner. Then take a shit in his toilet and don’t flush. He will believe the unflushed dump was your plan and won’t give a second thought to what else you may have done. Sweet success…

3. Slay him in combat
When all else fails, you can always go back to the old school. Gather your sword and shield and look for the offending party on the battlefield! If you can’t find a battlefield a parking lot will do. If no parking lots are available an isle at the local grocery store will do. Since broadswords aren’t allowed in most places of commerce, you will have to use a zucchini instead. Have you ever seen a man beat to death with a zucchini? It is fucking hilarious…

4. Chase him with a dead mouse
Although they never let on, most arch-enemies are deathly afraid of dead rodents. Follow yours into a public place and jump out from behind a tree without warning. Scream “DEAD MOUSE!” and wave the deceased marsupial through the air like a French sheet before a battle while running wildly towards your target. He will instinctively run and everyone within earshot will know he is really a woman who is scared of a tiny, harmless mouse.

5. Drink his last beer
Infiltrating a man’s fridge is never an easy task; it could very well be guarded by hungry dogs and sleeping dragons. The last can of cold brew will definitely be booby trapped. It will take an effort of Indiana Jones proportions to procure such a treasure. Drinking it, however, quenches the thirst for vengeance with cold purity. When done, replace the empty bottle after leaving a post-it note with your name stuck to the label. Bonus points: pee in the empty bottle and leave the note on the backside of the label.

6. Reformat his hard drive
Nothing hurts a man more than losing all of his porn. Take away his music collection in the process and you have achieved nothing less than a devastating attack, possibly even a killing blow. It takes two seconds to go to Start-Run, type “format c:” into the blank prompt, and hit “enter”. To undo such an act takes technical miracles. If, while involved in such an act, you hear a deep voice say “Fatality” out of nowhere, buy yourself some ice cream. You win.

7. Eat food that he was saving
When a man is looking forward to eating something and it disappears… well, let’s just say some things make getting kicked in the balls seem not so bad. Make sure the empty container is left in your wake so that he suspects nothing at first. Upon opening the package, his screams of pain will be able to be heard for at least a ten mile radius.

8. Infest his lair with termites
Unassuming little bugs who eat peoples houses are the ultimate tool of revenge. With the right placement, and given enough time to work unnoticed, an assholes tool shed can be rendered useless. He will then be forced to work on shit in his driveway and all shall see him sawing wood for a new hideout in shame. Bonus if the driveway is all that is left of his house as well…

9. Kick him in the balls
Remember, way back in reason 7, when I said some things make a kick in the balls seem not so bad? That was a dirty fucking lie. It is, however, a very nearly forbidden move for any man to pull off on another. It should be reserved only for guys who have killed your family or burned your village and those dirty dirty spammers from Nigeria. Actually, the entire country of Nigeria deserves a collective kick in the balls. Bastards.

www.firespeedtactical.com
Trial By Fire.
Like our page!
http://www.facebook.com/firespeedtactical

Quote:
"I'm spooning a barrett 50 cal. I could kill a building."
-Archer
FiReBReTHa is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-12-2007, 01:51 PM Thread Starter
U-P-G-R-A-Y-E-D-D
 
FiReBReTHa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Aurora, IL
Posts: 11,172
Location: Aurora, IL
Sportbike: 04 GSXR6
Years Riding: 2
How you found us: I thought it was a line for muffins
           
Send a message via AIM to FiReBReTHa
Quote:
buy yourself some ice cream. You win.
hehehe

www.firespeedtactical.com
Trial By Fire.
Like our page!
http://www.facebook.com/firespeedtactical

Quote:
"I'm spooning a barrett 50 cal. I could kill a building."
-Archer
FiReBReTHa is offline  
post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-12-2007, 02:09 PM
Facilitator
 
sarge52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Aurora, IL
Posts: 391
Location: Aurora, IL
Sportbike: '03 Honda CBR 600RR
Years Riding: 12+
How you found us: a good friend
           
Quote:
3. Slay him in combat
When all else fails, you can always go back to the old school. Gather your sword and shield and look for the offending party on the battlefield! If you can’t find a battlefield a parking lot will do. If no parking lots are available an isle at the local grocery store will do. Since broadswords aren’t allowed in most places of commerce, you will have to use a zucchini instead. Have you ever seen a man beat to death with a zucchini? It is fucking hilarious…

awesome!

www.ytmnd.com

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephen Colbert
..I didn't mind once gas hit $4.xx a gallon, I just figured I was getting better gas.
XBOXLIVE: BBSarge69

"Yeah, It's the one that says Bad Motherfucker.."


Mike
sarge52 is offline  
post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-12-2007, 05:48 PM
Irony helps us play!
 
Arch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: N'ville
Posts: 29,510
Location: N'ville
Sportbike: 2000 F4
Years Riding: Long enough to know better
How you found us: some hot MILF whispered it in my ear
           
outlive them.

Everyone Exaggerates

We're being taken for a ride... agaaaaaaain.....


Best Auto/Moto Insurance | Motorcycle Protection Today | FREE Trade-In Quote
Arch is offline  
post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-12-2007, 08:50 PM
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,321
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch View Post
outlive them.
yes, easy to do if you follow any of the 9 steps and he has a coronary
Ninja 13 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Chicagoland Sportbikes forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome