The following were gathered from travel agents across the country.
1. I had a lady ask for an aisle seat on the plane so her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
2. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?
3. I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interr upted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but CapeTown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Cape Town is in Africa." Her response ..... click.
4. A woman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. She said she was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. She replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state."
5. I got a call from a woman who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said "But they look so close on the map."
6. Another woman called and asked if she could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed she had a 1-hour lay over in Dallas. When I asked her why she wanted to rent a car, she said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the gates to save time."
7. A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 am and got into Chicago at 8:33 am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!
8. A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to who?" I said, "No, why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I'm overweight, is there any connection?" After I told her I would put her on hold for a minute while looked into it, (I was actually laughing) I came back and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.
9. I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on
10. "A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, yeah, what ever."
11. A business woman called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her she needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times
and never had to have one of those." Double-checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
12. A woman called to make reservations "I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and I can't find a Hippopotamus anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it! I knew it was a big animal."
CCS AM #815 - the cute, fuzzy, yellow, spoiled-rotten half of Team Duc Tape!
I break stuff
Duck, duck, duck, GUZ!