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post #1 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 01:58 PM Thread Starter
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Signs of Infidelity

I'm bored. Discuss.

5 Surprising Symptoms of Infidelity
Everybody thinks they can spot a cheater a mile away. Adulterers, after all, have the same characteristics, right? Wandering eyes, secret cell phones, last name Sheen. If only it were that easy.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where people fall out of their fidelity flight patterns and take off on their own different courses all the time, even though we desperately want to believe that our partners won't be unfaithful. That's why it's important to know some of the traits and sneaky signals that are common in people who tend to be unfaithful in the relationships.

Now, I'm not suggesting you automatically end your relationship if your partner falls into one of these categories, but I do think that these are some signs you should be aware of - so you can be on the lookout for warnings of wandering.

Cheating Sign #1: He Doesn't Pay His Bills On Time
Some research shows that unreliability and carelessness is part of a personality trait called "low consciousness," which is a marker for infidelity. Makes sense. A guy who's careless about his own responsibilities is going to be just as careless about his relationships.

Cheating Sign #2: He's A Do-Gooder
What? Your guy contributes to the local orchestra fund, the church, and the alumni association, plus he volunteers to build houses for the homeless. How could a guy like that give into the temptation of midnight motel rooms?

A study just published in the November issue of the Journal of Applied Psychology found that when there's a blurry line between right and wrong (as there often is with matters of infidelity), the people who become the worst cheaters are actually the ones who think of themselves as having the highest moral standards.

Why? The speculation is that these people can justify their wrongdoings with explanations that they weren't doing anything wrong at all. Simply put, not following the Monogamy Rules (a faithfully popular Men's Health story) makes it hard for the Do-Gooder to live in his skin.

Cheating Sign #3: He's Rolling In The Dough
A study in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that those people who earned more money were more likely to cheat than those who earned less. It's not because they have more income to open new credit cards, carry more cash, or spend more coin on mistress gifts. Some researchers theorize that those with lower salaries - and thus those who are more dependent on others in a relationship - are less likely to risk ruining the relationship.

Cheating Sign #4: He's A Yeller
While yelling and anger may not seem to be all that connected to cheating, a recent Australian study found that unfaithful partners show many of the same personality characteristics as abusive ones. Those who are more likely to be abusive (verbally or physically) are simply more likely to be unfaithful. What's already bad has the potential of getting even worse.

Cheating Sign #5: He's A Mirror Hog
Some research has shown that the single biggest trait of cheaters is-surprise, surprise-narcissism. These self-loving folks are so wrapped up in their own self-importance that they don't even consider the effect that cheating has on the other person. So what if I stray and have the occasional one-nightstand? I deserve to be happy. Have you seen these guns, baby!


and.....

6 Signs She's Thinking of Straying ... and 6 ways to head her off at the pass
First, let me defend the sisterhood by saying, many, many women don't cheat. Especially when we're in happy relationships. If we're really into a guy, we're loyal-from-first-kiss. Faithfulness is hardwired into our female circuitry, like our need to cuddle and to buy shoes.

Now, the unfortunate exception: Some do. Okay, a lot do: The incidence of extramarital intercourse for women is 25 percent, and the estimate of single women who've cheated is even higher. And if a woman is going to cheat, there are surprisingly specific times when she's likely to do it.

Pay attention, because even if you're sure your woman would never stray, the urge may pop up at one of these times. Then put our advice to work, because the follow-through doesn't have to happen.

She's Turning 25 . . . or 30 . . . or 35 . . .
Decade and half-decade birthdays trigger navel-gazing-figuratively, and perhaps literally. A woman asks herself, "What have I been doing for the past 5 years?"

"She'll think deeply about her love life and its direction, and if it's not going the way she planned, she might jump at the chance to correct it with an affair," says Don-David Lusterman, Ph.D., a psychologist and the author of Infidelity: A Survival Guide.

The incidence of birthday cheating triples in women who report being in unhappy relationships, according to a survey by Infidelity.com.
The Plan: Be there
There are 2 nights when every straight woman wants a man in her bed: New Year's Eve and her birthday. Leave her solo and you're giving her permission -- and reason -- to cheat. And remember, birthday sex is about the birthday girl. Presents are good, too. Especially jewelry.
She's Moving into the Corner Office
Women like to have projects and goals. When she reaches a milestone-say, in her career -- she may start to think, Now what? says Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., author of Can We Forgive Adultery? Staying Not Straying. For her next challenge, she may focus on another big part of her life -- say, her relationship. Riding the high of her work success, she'll feel that goals are achievable, and she'll be motivated to get the rest of her life on track.

Also, women with fat salaries are more likely to cheat. A University of Washington study found that people who earned $75,000 or more per year were 1.5 times more likely to have had extramarital sex than those earning less than $30,000.
The Plan: Brag about your woman's promotion
"Most guys make the mistake of not doing enough to celebrate their girlfriends' accomplishments," says Scott Haltzman, M.D., a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University. "When she sees you honoring her, she'll feel as valued by you as she does at work."
Translation: She won't look for that emotion elsewhere -- like in the marketing veep's bed.
She's Moving In with You
Yes, it was probably her idea. But now that you're together 24-7 and sharing every detail of your lives, there's not as great a need to keep the conversation flowing every minute.

"She could subconsciously interpret this as meaning that you think she's boring," says Stuart Fischoff, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at California State University at Los Angeles. "If there's someone else around who finds her attractive and intriguing-and shows it-she might go for him instead." (A MensHealth.com survey found that 41 percent of women who've cheated did it with a coworker.)

And again, with the whole goal thing-now that you've moved in together, she'll be thinking about the next step, such as engagement or marriage.

"Face it, most women want marriage, and they want to have children," says Susan Heitler, Ph.D., author of The Power of Two. "If you're withholding either or both, you're inviting the risk of her turning to someone else who can make that commitment and give her children."
The Plan: Make it clear that you're thinking of living together as a starting point
Talk about the future. Talk about her in your future.

She Thinks (or Knows) You've Cheated
Revenge affairs are common. Women have them in an attempt to restore self-esteem and feel desirable again.

"It comes down to human nature," Heitler says. "She'll want to get even." She won't necessarily go out looking to hook up, but when she's tempted, the fact that you've done it may weaken her self-control.
The Plan: If you are cheating or have cheated before, confess and apologize
A survey conducted by Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth, showed that 86 percent of couples who discussed one partner's affair were still married, compared with 59 percent of couples who barely talked about it.

If you're not cheating, you have one paranoid woman on your hands. She probably has low self-confidence. Your job: Compliment her, sincerely, specifically, and often.

"You can make her feel better about herself so she won't become vulnerable to these unfounded suspicions," Fischoff says.
She's Not Getting Enough
Oxytocin, a hormone that plays a central role in our urge to bond, spikes to levels three to five times higher than usual just before orgasm. The hormone is more intense in females than in males, so women develop a stronger sense of bonding through sex.

"If the two of you are not having as much sex as you used to, she might interpret this as a sign that you don't find her attractive and that you don't love her," Fischoff says. "She may seek someone outside the relationship to validate that she's still sexually attractive."

A so-so sex life could also mean you have unresolved problems between you. Research conducted by Shirley Glass, Ph.D., author of Not Just Friends, found that 79 percent of cheating women cited dissatisfaction in the marriage as the cause.
The Plan: Have more sex
If she's the one who doesn't want sex, investigate why. Fix it. Get naked.

She's Ready to Bolt
One more reason a woman might cheat: She wants to dump you. Infidelity can break up couples, so she might cheat on purpose as an easy out.

David Buss, a Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and the author of The Evolution of Desire, asked 100 men and women which tactic they would use to get out of a bad relationship. One of the most common answers: Start an affair.
The Plan: She sucks -- let her go
You're free!
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post #2 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 01:59 PM
 
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I'm bored too but way too lazy to read all those words.
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post #3 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:02 PM
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Yeah, I just saw that ono the yahoo page....but then stared readin about the granny with suing Kmart over toilet paper or something
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post #4 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:02 PM
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on the male side that i read:

hey, wanna fuck?





now i am gonna read the women side.



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post #5 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:06 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by uniball View Post
I'm bored too but way too lazy to read all those words.
that's why I cut and paste and let you guys read it
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post #6 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:07 PM
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haha i saw this on yahoo

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post #7 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:07 PM
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OK i call BULLSHIT!

this whole fucken article/articles was written and or composed by a WOMEN


fir the man shit it was blunt and clear, why HE IS a cheater if he does it and WILL do it.

for the women stuff, i STOPPED 1/2 way thorough, WHY?

the way it was all composed was what a MAN is not doing that will force a women to cheat and her emotions, and pit falls, and etc.

BULLSHIT, this was intended for men to read and become psychologically fuck into buying his women more shit, giving into all her needs no matter how silly or wrong, and most of all if she cheats, its the MANS fault.


what a scam!



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post #8 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:11 PM
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OK i call BULLSHIT!

this whole fucken article/articles was written and or composed by a WOMEN


fir the man shit it was blunt and clear, why HE IS a cheater if he does it and WILL do it.

for the women stuff, i STOPPED 1/2 way thorough, WHY?

the way it was all composed was what a MAN is not doing that will force a women to cheat and her emotions, and pit falls, and etc.

BULLSHIT, this was intended for men to read and become psychologically fuck into buying his women more shit, giving into all her needs no matter how silly or wrong, and most of all if she cheats, its the MANS fault.


what a scam!

+1 Except for the one that says guys with loot will cheat. I believe that, they can afford to cheat. It is easier to kick someone to the curb when you know you don't have to share the bills with anyone .

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post #9 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:13 PM
 
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i concur.
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post #10 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:13 PM
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just watch for 4 tiny words

"they're just a friend"

in reality i dont think you can stereotype a cheater. but if you do meet someone that you're getting into a relationship with. just ask the question. "have you ever cheated" and if they say yes,... good bye. "once a cheater, always a cheater"

other than that its just looking for suspicious behavior, lots of away time, communication loss, a friend they always seem to hang around of the opposite sex, etc etc.

and ken is right, all those female reasons were the mans fault. bs article. especially with the opening words defending women that they arent as big of cheaters.

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #11 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:14 PM Thread Starter
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actually, a guy wrote the guy one and a woman wrote the woman one.



but what do I know, I'm poor.
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post #12 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:15 PM
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+1 Except for the one that says guys with loot will cheat. I believe that, they can afford to cheat. It is easier to kick someone to the curb when you know you don't have to share the bills with anyone .
trust me, MEN with a lot of money FEAR cheating why?

divorce = more then 1/2 your shit will be her's plus monthly living expenses

its cheaper to divorse then it is getting divorced from cheating around.



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post #13 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:16 PM
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actually, a guy wrote the guy one and a woman wrote the woman one.



but what do I know, I'm poor.
but you do see what i am talking about



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post #14 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:16 PM
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I'm a cheater and I fit those descriptions to the T. Great article with a lot of truth.

"includes 10 used-car dealers or auto repair shops, 11 liquor stores and bars--two of which advertise lingerie fashion shows and a third billed as a "gentlemen's club"--three cut-rate motels and one trailer park. The squat, brick municipal building is next to a currency exchange and a few steps from an adult video store. The bars open at 10 a.m. and close at 6:30 a.m."

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post #15 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:16 PM
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post #16 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:17 PM
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shit single guys shouldnt be called into cheating. EVEN when dating!

it should only allow to married men.

shit if i was single, i would be getting monthly blood transfusions to get rid of all the shit i contracted monthly from all the ladies...roflmao!



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post #17 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:18 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
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trust me, MEN with a lot of money FEAR cheating why?

divorce = more then 1/2 your shit will be her's plus monthly living expenses

its cheaper to divorse then it is getting divorced from cheating around.

I would say it depends on how you got your money. If you were born into it, you don't care as much. I would imagine a guy that worked hard for his money acting as you describe but some rich trust fund guy behaving more in like with the article's suggestion.
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post #18 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Odysseys View Post
OK i call BULLSHIT!

this whole fucken article/articles was written and or composed by a WOMEN


fir the man shit it was blunt and clear, why HE IS a cheater if he does it and WILL do it.

for the women stuff, i STOPPED 1/2 way thorough, WHY?

the way it was all composed was what a MAN is not doing that will force a women to cheat and her emotions, and pit falls, and etc.

BULLSHIT, this was intended for men to read and become psychologically fuck into buying his women more shit, giving into all her needs no matter how silly or wrong, and most of all if she cheats, its the MANS fault.


what a scam!


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post #19 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:20 PM
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I would say it depends on how you got your money. If you were born into it, you don't care as much. I would imagine a guy that worked hard for his money acting as you describe but some rich trust fund guy behaving more in like with the article's suggestion.
that i can see, i agree with you.




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post #20 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:20 PM
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post #21 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:20 PM
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Quote:
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trust me, MEN with a lot of money FEAR cheating why?

divorce = more then 1/2 your shit will be her's plus monthly living expenses

its cheaper to divorse then it is getting divorced from cheating around.

True, but these cats are the guys that stay bachelors forever so the women doesn't take half. They will never really have a GF, just someone they are hanging out with at the time. If a guy gets marriad, then makes an insane amount of money, he will still probably cheat, just be more sly with it so he doesn't have to get a divorce . Marriage is for broke dudes like myself who need a roomate to help pay the rent .

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post #22 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:21 PM
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Too much effort is put into doing it and not enough is put into getting away with it.

That's the whole problem right there.

Lipstick on your dick that isn't her color.. um.. yeah.. that's a problem.

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post #23 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:25 PM
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Once a cheater, always a cheater
I have to agree!!!

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post #24 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:29 PM
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I have to agree!!!
pfft thats NOT true. you can cheat on your girlfriends.. never your wife.

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post #25 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:30 PM
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pfft thats NOT true.
yea it is, they just havent found the next temptation.

and if you ever want good shit to look for in a cheater, just go to those confession sites, truedadconfessions.com and truemomconfessions.com

those sites make me really really feel uneasy about relationships and marriage

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post #26 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:32 PM
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True, but these cats are the guys that stay bachelors forever so the women doesn't take half. They will never really have a GF, just someone they are hanging out with at the time. If a guy gets marriad, then makes an insane amount of money, he will still probably cheat, just be more sly with it so he doesn't have to get a divorce . Marriage is for broke dudes like myself who need a roomate to help pay the rent .
you are mostly right, but if you had it before you get married then its paper signing time!!!!



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post #27 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:33 PM
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pfft thats NOT true. you can cheat on your girlfriends.. never your wife.
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yea it is, they just havent found the next temptation.

and if you ever want good shit to look for in a cheater, just go to those confession sites, truedadconfessions.com and truemomconfessions.com

those sites make me really really feel uneasy about relationships and marriage

Exactly...the temptation came across once and you gave in...just a matter of time before the next temptation comes across your lap...literally!!!

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post #28 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:34 PM
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just watch for 4 tiny words

"they're just a friend"

in reality i dont think you can stereotype a cheater. but if you do meet someone that you're getting into a relationship with. just ask the question. "have you ever cheated" and if they say yes,... good bye. "once a cheater, always a cheater"

other than that its just looking for suspicious behavior, lots of away time, communication loss, a friend they always seem to hang around of the opposite sex, etc etc.

and ken is right, all those female reasons were the mans fault. bs article. especially with the opening words defending women that they arent as big of cheaters.
man it sounds like you had your heart ripped out before.



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post #29 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:34 PM
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True, but these cats are the guys that stay bachelors forever so the women doesn't take half. They will never really have a GF, just someone they are hanging out with at the time. If a guy gets marriad, then makes an insane amount of money, he will still probably cheat, just be more sly with it so he doesn't have to get a divorce . Marriage is for broke dudes like myself who need a roomate to help pay the rent .
Some women in those circumstances will just go have their own fun while someone is gone on business trips for days/weeks and off doing their own thing. Their relationship tends to be for show and convenience for the other more important role they play in life outside of their home.

CA and even around here is riddled with 'couples' like that.

Everyone Exaggerates

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post #30 of 212 (permalink) Old 11-30-2007, 02:36 PM
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you are mostly right, but if you had it before you get married then its paper signing time!!!!

If I had it before I got married a prenup would be a must . We don't want to bring that thread up again .

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"Ride it like you have 30 monthly remaining payments" should keep most people out of trouble.
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