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post #1 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 09:42 PM Thread Starter
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Guess I'm Moving

So I was down the street at Jewel browsing the liquor aisles for some booze to have ready for tomorrow. As I was walking up and down the aisle looking for what I wanted, out of the corner of my eye I saw this bum looking guy in ratty clothes turn down the aisle. This guy was a real dirty piece of shit, I could tell immediately. But also some hot girls walked into the aisle behind him, probably looking for some booze too. I gotta say the bum was putting me off and obviously these 2 chicks too cause he kept staring at them and I could hear them whisper as they walked by about how creepy he was. He was going up and down the aisle looking at the whiskey racks so at first I thought, maybe he was Jrock, haha. Anyway I picked up a bottle of some Captain Morgan and was about to leave when I saw the bum walk by these 2 girls and pinch ones ass. She jumped and screamed out and immediately started with the attitude "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE FUCKING CREEP!" ill never forget what he said, he looked at her and said "shut the fuck up you skank, not got much of an ass anyway", i was like hooooly shit haha. So I walked by and was like "hey maybe you should leave the girls alone, they dont like old bums touching em". this is when shit got real, he fucking slaps the bottle of Captain Morgan out of my hands and it falls to the floor and shatters and I didn't know what else to do so I fucking socked him in the face and then he shoved me into the rack and a bunch of other bottles fell. By now the girls ran off to get some help and one of the jewel supervisors called the police. me and the bum were both sitting in handcuffs and i had them call my mom up, which was just a fuckin stupid thing to do cause once she got up and heard what happened she freaked the fuck out and said this neighborhood wasnt safe anymore. I got in one lil fight and my mom got scared, She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air!". I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror, If anything I can say this cab is rare But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'! I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air!

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #2 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 09:47 PM
 
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you are weird and probably very bored...but that was kinda funny
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post #3 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 09:48 PM
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wat? no pictures too illustrate?

Even heroes know when to be scared.
..As I shifted into 6th, I forgot every f'in thing she said..
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I'd let him pee in my butt
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post #4 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 09:48 PM
 
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You must be really bored?
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post #5 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 09:49 PM
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Damn I thought Meech let you move in with her. That would have been worth a pos rep.

Now I am contemplating a neg rep for a super repost.

"The man who makes me your enemy, it is he who be the guilty one....Here I abandoned peace and desecrated law; fortune it is you I follow. Farewell to treaties. From now on war is our judge!"
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post #6 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 09:49 PM Thread Starter
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a lil bored. cant be a repost, i bet that story was never told haha.

maybe the punchline tho, go ahead, ive got enough red dots from you, one more wont hurt

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #7 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 09:56 PM
shhhhhhhhh!
 
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this story sucks ass if you did not get lucky with the 2 ladies afterward, way to be a hero,,,,,,,,,,
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post #8 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 10:09 PM
CUBS fan, not a SOX hater
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burntash View Post
So I was down the street at Jewel browsing the liquor aisles for some booze to have ready for tomorrow. As I was walking up and down the aisle looking for what I wanted, out of the corner of my eye I saw this bum looking guy in ratty clothes turn down the aisle. This guy was a real dirty piece of shit, I could tell immediately. But also some hot girls walked into the aisle behind him, probably looking for some booze too. I gotta say the bum was putting me off and obviously these 2 chicks too cause he kept staring at them and I could hear them whisper as they walked by about how creepy he was. He was going up and down the aisle looking at the whiskey racks so at first I thought, maybe he was Jrock, haha. Anyway I picked up a bottle of some Captain Morgan and was about to leave when I saw the bum walk by these 2 girls and pinch ones ass. She jumped and screamed out and immediately started with the attitude "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE FUCKING CREEP!" ill never forget what he said, he looked at her and said "shut the fuck up you skank, not got much of an ass anyway", i was like hooooly shit haha. So I walked by and was like "hey maybe you should leave the girls alone, they dont like old bums touching em". this is when shit got real, he fucking slaps the bottle of Captain Morgan out of my hands and it falls to the floor and shatters and I didn't know what else to do so I fucking socked him in the face and then he shoved me into the rack and a bunch of other bottles fell. By now the girls ran off to get some help and one of the jewel supervisors called the police. me and the bum were both sitting in handcuffs and i had them call my mom up, which was just a fuckin stupid thing to do cause once she got up and heard what happened she freaked the fuck out and said this neighborhood wasnt safe anymore. I got in one lil fight and my mom got scared, She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air!". I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror, If anything I can say this cab is rare But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'! I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air!
You have too much time on your hands...we need to find you a woman.

Nicole
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post #9 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 10:12 PM
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Quote:
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You have too much time on your hands...we need to find you a woman.

Nicole
we've all been trying to help jeff lose his virginity

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Watching the Cubs lose is the opposite of appreciating a fine wine ó itís like watching a car accident in progress. Itís horrifying, yet gruesomely riveting, and you canít help but watch and sympathize with the poor souls inside.
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coming to CLSB for relationship advice is like asking fat people in mcdonalds about nutrition.
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post #10 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 10:13 PM
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Can a mod move this to the correct forum so others do not waste their time?
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post #11 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 10:14 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
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Can a mod move this to the correct forum so others do not waste their time?
how valuable is your time that you have to read about me maybe having to move and clicking on the thread in the first place

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #12 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 10:20 PM
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HASN'T THAT PUPPY GOTTEN YOU ANY CHICKS YET?????

Dayum, I wish I had the time to come up with crazy shiet like that! OMG!

Nessey
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post #13 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 10:22 PM Thread Starter
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there arent any chicks walking around mount greenwood in 20 degree weather.

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #14 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 10:24 PM
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Quote:
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there arent any chicks walking around mount greenwood in 20 degree weather.
try a park or the dog park lol
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post #15 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 10:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JackPot View Post
You have too much time on your hands...we need to find you a woman.

Nicole
Aren't you one?

Sometimes goodbye is your second chance.
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post #16 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 10:39 PM
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Nicole is not right for Jeff. She seems to have taste.
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post #17 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 10:41 PM Thread Starter
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we cant all find the woman of our dreams in a bowling alley parking lot

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #18 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 10:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave13 View Post
Nicole is not right for Jeff. She seems to have taste.

You just haven't gotten to know her yet. Give her some time.

An Angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards

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Man that dude has a nice rack though....
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post #19 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 10:59 PM
1 piece at a time
 
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Quote:
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You just haven't gotten to know her yet. Give her some time.
zing!

- Steve
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post #20 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 11:01 PM
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Quote:
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we cant all find the woman of our dreams in a bowling alley parking lot
I met her in the bowling alley, and we were married in a bowling alley, get it right.
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post #21 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 11:04 PM Thread Starter
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well excuse me!

i dunno what you kids are doin these days

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #22 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 11:11 PM
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Show your face around my house every once in a while, we always have food.

BTW, one of my best friends lives a few blocks from you. Here is his son on a 250.



And my buddy on his GPz1100.

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post #23 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 11:13 PM
Serious inquiries only
 
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Did you get the girls' numbers? Did you speak to the girls?

You are a tool for bothering to punch an old bum. You should have thrown a dollar on the ground.
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post #24 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 11:19 PM
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... There's no need to argue.. Parents just don't understand!

Everyone Exaggerates

We're being taken for a ride... agaaaaaaain.....


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post #25 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 11:20 PM
Irony helps us play!
 
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Quote:
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Nicole is not right for Jeff. She seems to have taste.
What flavor?

Everyone Exaggerates

We're being taken for a ride... agaaaaaaain.....


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post #26 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 11:21 PM Thread Starter
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burnouts are so retarded

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #27 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 11:22 PM
Curb your dogma.
 
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lol @ burntash. As a matter of fact I am laughing at all you "bored" people, becuase in about 48 hours you will be bitchin' about how fast this little vacation went and that you have a hang-over because you drank too much...and I will be right there with you in spirit because I too am bored like a mfr'.

"Cr-Cr-Cr-Crambone!!"
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post #28 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 11:22 PM
 
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People are harsh...I am really moving
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post #29 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 11:32 PM
Irony helps us play!
 
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Watch, there will be a posting on bumposts.com that goes something like this:


"So, I was sitting outside of a jewel trying to tell this kid I don't want to jerk him off for a bottle of whiskey.. Then, he comes up with this new scheme of having me make a scene inside a grocery store so he can try to impress some ladies. Anyway, he offers me $50 to go pinch some skank's ass. That's double what he offered me to jerk him off, mind you and only $5 less than if I let him cum on my face, but that's getting off the story... anyway, I take his $50 and follow this skank piece of ass around the liquor section. Kind of funny really... lick her.. liquor.. get it? Well, this young whipper snapper was trying to get it, let me tell ya... anyway... I pinch this thing's ass and at the same time notice an adam's apple. The skank was a HE skank! No wonder he wanted to shell out $50 to impress it. Ah, youth these days. Anyway, we go on with our choreographed fight scene straight out of Matrix 2 (the sucky one) and the he-skank isn't impressed for shit and goes off and promises to give some A2M to the store manager if he calls the cops on us to get us arrested.. So here we are, I have that little bitch sitting next to me in handcuffs (like we're married or something.. I take it he was diggin it) and then he calls his mom. HIS MOM! Can you believe that shit?! I thought I was going to get a piece of young-bum ass and he calls his F*ing mom!

Damn kids these days! "

Everyone Exaggerates

We're being taken for a ride... agaaaaaaain.....


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post #30 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-30-2007, 11:35 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
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People are harsh...I am really moving
we could start a thread for that if you like


Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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