Man arrested for having sex with his picnic table - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:09 PM Thread Starter
self proclaimed n3rd
 
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Man arrested for having sex with his picnic table

http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/s...storyid=105778

wow.
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post #2 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:10 PM
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What the....
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post #3 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:12 PM
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this is hilarious!

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post #4 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:14 PM
Sarcasm in every post.
 
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post #5 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:14 PM
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I see nothing wrong in that. The table was probably asking for it. I mean I have seen a couple of good looking tables in my day. I just never had the balls to. I never thought I was their type.

If my calculations are correct, this will create ice... OH NO, KILLER MUSTARD GAS!

Last edited by RockStaRR; 03-28-2008 at 02:17 PM.
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post #6 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:15 PM
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NIiiiiiiiiiiiice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by G2G
No one says you have to get drunk everytime you drink.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoodles
Isn't that like having sex and not finishing though?
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post #7 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:16 PM
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The table is probably safer than a glory hole though.

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post #8 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:18 PM
Si Vis Pacem Parabellum
 
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That table was dressed like a whore, it knew what to expect.

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post #9 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:20 PM
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I'm not sure how they are arresting him on this.... is it public indecency if no one sees you do it?

Also, gotta love how the media tries to hype it up by saying he lives near an Elementary School

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post #10 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:21 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RockStaRR View Post
I see nothing wrong in that. The table was probably asking for it. I mean I have seen a couple of good looking tables in my day. I just never had the balls to. I never thought I was their type.
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post #11 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:22 PM
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I mean come on now who wouldn't. Looking all fine with the red skirt. It even brought wet ones to clean up with
Attached Images
File Type: jpg IMG_3757.jpg (113.5 KB, 27 views)

If my calculations are correct, this will create ice... OH NO, KILLER MUSTARD GAS!
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post #12 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:23 PM
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Come on, who wouldn't bone a table with nice legs???




Quote:
Originally Posted by G2G
No one says you have to get drunk everytime you drink.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoodles
Isn't that like having sex and not finishing though?
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post #13 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:24 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flying_Hellfish View Post
I'm not sure how they are arresting him on this.... is it public indecency if no one sees you do it?
"The investigation began when a tipster gave police three DVDs showing Arthur Price having sexual intercourse with a metal round table on his deck."

If I looked out my window and saw my neighbor getting dirty with his furniture, I doubt the first thing I would do is pull out a video camera to capture the moment!
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post #14 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:26 PM
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What ever happened to just plain Jackin' Off

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post #15 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:30 PM
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this guy was in ohio...hmm wasn't tony just in ohio????

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post #16 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:32 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drama View Post
this guy was in ohio...hmm wasn't tony just in ohio????

Ken.


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post #17 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:55 PM
Beer Bong Queen
 
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That's just effin disgusting!
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post #18 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:56 PM
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As always the comments are as good if not better than the story!~
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post #19 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 02:58 PM
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Wtf???

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post #20 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 03:00 PM
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post #21 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 03:17 PM
See ya Illinois
 
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Better a table than a two year old. He looks the part. and not far from a school, DAMN.
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post #22 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 03:21 PM
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No worries for him, table can't get pregnant.

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post #23 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 03:21 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gconsier View Post
As always the comments are as good if not better than the story!~
http://www.topix.net/forum/source/wt...CCBE7MN92V2MQN
My favorite: "Poor guy...all the new models are now on display at the Home Depot...must be frustrating lol!"

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post #24 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 03:32 PM
King Nothing


 
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The table has 4 legs, it must be like a threesome for him!

"When in doubt, use full throttle. It may not improve your situation, but it will end the suspense."
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post #25 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 03:33 PM
Ride or Die! Die to Ride!
 
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ah...memories!!! Good times!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~
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post #26 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 05:19 PM
.
 
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People are so F'd up!! ugh.
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post #27 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 05:34 PM
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I had my heart broken by one once - They can be vicious - Sitting there all coy looking and shit - BITCHES!!!

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post #28 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 05:37 PM
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Will he request a Bench Trial?

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post #29 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 05:45 PM
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post #30 of 42 (permalink) Old 03-28-2008, 05:50 PM
bwa
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I definitely think the neighboor that recorded the 3 DVD's is more disturbing, than this guy
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