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post #1 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 05:41 PM Thread Starter
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Married Finances

I was talking to one of the married girls at work today and somehow we got on the topic of finances. Now, Im not married nor is that in the plan anytime soon but this was very interesting to me and wanted to get your input on this one.

She and her husband keep separate bank accounts and only commonly pay for the house, utilities, groceries and any common home items that need repair/replacement. What car you drive, items you splurge on, vacation you go on, etc. is determined solely by your bank account (assuming you saved anything at all). She mentioned that at the beginning of the marriage, they would constantly fight and bicker about what gets purchased for who and why. Since the separation of their bank accounts things have gone a lot better and the fights have been eliminated.

How do you feel about this and what do you guys do with your finances (assuming you are married)?


I really only looking for answers from the married folks on the board rather than hypothetical/testosterone driven answers.

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post #2 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 05:45 PM
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Separate accounts one joint credit card. She pays her bills I pay mine. Split household items. A couple of accounts for the kid. Big purchases are split.

Never argued about money.

Her car she pays for too

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post #3 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 05:46 PM
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1 pool and we communicate on everything. I keep track of the constantly rolling balance and the bills she basically gets free reign to spend but always asks for things above a certain amount just to ping me on the 'doability' of the purchase.

Keeps us both happier that way and we're obviously in it together. Most purchases involve the 4 kids anyway and rarely for personal benefit, but when they are personal expenses we talk about them beforehand.

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post #4 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 05:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch View Post
1 pool and we communicate on everything. I keep track of the constantly rolling balance and the bills she basically gets free reign to spend but always asks for things above a certain amount just to ping me on the 'doability' of the purchase.

Keeps us both happier that way and we're obviously in it together. Most purchases involve the 4 kids anyway and rarely for personal benefit, but when they are personal expenses we talk about them beforehand.
nice use of the word "ping"

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post #5 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 05:57 PM
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Lol, I 'ping' people all day long. I'm betting Arch either works with his wife or has her on a public IM list.

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post #6 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 05:59 PM
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I agree with separate bank accounts 150%. I've dated girls with horrible credit and high debt. Imagine taking that on when you get married to them.

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post #7 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 06:04 PM
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Meh...


The right answer is whatever works for you as a couple.


Some people are comfortable sharing, some are not.

As with all things in marriage, communication and honesty are key.


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post #8 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 06:14 PM
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Joint account but she checks with me for whatever she wants to buy and I do what I want. How else should it be?
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post #9 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 06:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by erznana View Post
I agree with separate bank accounts 150%. I've dated girls with horrible credit and high debt. Imagine taking that on when you get married to them.
You get that separate accounts or not. my wife and I have 1 account and we never fight about finances. It's been like that even before we got married and it's working so far. As long as we have them money we buy what we want.
When we 1st moved in it was a pain who was paying what, and now with 1 account its so much easier.

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post #10 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 06:57 PM
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Dating is a hell of a lot easier.......just get snipped or wear a rubber.

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post #11 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 07:01 PM
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I find it easier to embezzle from my own account rather than a joint account.

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post #12 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 07:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shadrach View Post
Lol, I 'ping' people all day long. I'm betting Arch either works with his wife or has her on a public IM list.
I work out of the house.... and all 4 kids are in school.

Everyone Exaggerates

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post #13 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 07:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimbo View Post
You get that separate accounts or not. my wife and I have 1 account and we never fight about finances. It's been like that even before we got married and it's working so far. As long as we have them money we buy what we want.
When we 1st moved in it was a pain who was paying what, and now with 1 account its so much easier.
+1 here.

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post #14 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 07:50 PM
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One acct, I just wished the wife would ask if spend some money. ha

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post #15 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 08:10 PM
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We have "his, mine, and ours" although most of our income goes into the joint account anyway. He gets to play with his overtime pay, and that mostly pays for racing. I make sure all the bills are paid, and big purchases are discussed.

As has been said, it depends on the couple. There's an infinite number of variables like who pays the bills, if partners make equal or vastly different incomes, need for control, and personal spending habits.

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post #16 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 08:11 PM
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Do a credit check before getting married. co'z once your married yours is hers and hers is yours. Unless you do a prenuptial agreement. OR NEVER get married at all.
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post #17 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 08:16 PM
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OR NEVER get married at all.
+1. lol.
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post #18 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 08:18 PM
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We got a joint account (or rather, I added her on to mine ) but she still has a seperate account. She works here and there, but it's not much really, so I don't bother to care what happens to it. I'm the main provider, and we've never really argued about finances. She actually keeps me from spending $ on stupid shit
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post #19 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 08:19 PM
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Quote:
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Joint account but she checks with me for whatever she wants to buy and I do what I want. How else should it be?

+1

I'll ask for forgiveness and make up sex before asking permission to buy something.

Last edited by 2FS4LV; 04-09-2008 at 08:37 PM.
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post #20 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 08:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MVRC51 View Post
Dating is a hell of a lot easier.......
Fuck that jazz. Dating was certainly not easier than being married at least for me. All the smokey bars and plasticine people. I hope I never go back.

We have joint accounts. We have a $500 rule. If it costs more than $500 we have to disclose the purchase before we buy.

Now this works for me really well. Basically, I get whatever I want just by telling her I'm thinking about it. No behind the back business.

Of course I would never have married a bad money manager. If your chick is bleeding you dry you need to bail and let her go checkbook vampire on some other sap. No matter how hot she is nothing is worse than money trouble. That said, I don't blow cash just because I have it either. I'd love to be driving a new Challenger but I could never stomach spending $40,000 on a car I'd baby too much to use in Chicago weather.

All that said, some peeps need separate accounts and I'm not going to judge that move because I've dated some of these people. But for the wife and me joint is the way to be.

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Last edited by chibeemer; 04-09-2008 at 08:37 PM.
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post #21 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 09:21 PM
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Quote:
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Fuck that jazz. Dating was certainly not easier than being married at least for me. All the smokey bars and plasticine people. I hope I never go back.
Why does dating have to be associated with bars?

I have never taken a woman home from a bar. That's the bottom of the barrel man!
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post #22 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 09:24 PM
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whose met their spouse in a bar?

i honestly dont know anyone who has.

kinda funny thats where people look.

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post #23 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 09:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burntash View Post
whose met their spouse in a bar?

i honestly dont know anyone who has.

kinda funny thats where people look.

Does bamboo room count LOL
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post #24 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 09:28 PM
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Trust me....99% of divorces are caused by financial problems....keep separate accounts...and a joint household.

Sometimes goodbye is your second chance.
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post #25 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 09:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bwa View Post
We got a joint account (or rather, I added her on to mine ) but she still has a seperate account. She works here and there, but it's not much really, so I don't bother to care what happens to it. I'm the main provider, and we've never really argued about finances. She actually keeps me from spending $ on stupid shit
i hear that, some people like us need a woman to ground us when it comes to certain aspects....

as for me, i've never made it that far yet (very close a couple times tho)...rep for a thread with great advice and insight
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post #26 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 09:34 PM
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post #27 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 09:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by erznana View Post
I agree with separate bank accounts 150%. I've dated girls with horrible credit and high debt. Imagine taking that on when you get married to them.
Yeah...same goes for the guys!

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post #28 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 09:44 PM
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Quote:
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whose met their spouse in a bar?.
Right here buddy, and made her my wife
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post #29 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 09:45 PM
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Seperate accounts FTWMFW!!! we've always done it that way.




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post #30 of 86 (permalink) Old 04-09-2008, 09:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RickC1957 View Post
Trust me....99% of divorces are caused by financial problems....keep separate accounts...and a joint household.
+2 on that

you said it so right. all you have to do is keep a happy home no matter what
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