so as i sit here... - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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View Poll Results: who did it?
red 6 17.14%
green 6 17.14%
blue 10 28.57%
black 3 8.57%
gray 4 11.43%
brown 1 2.86%
peach 1 2.86%
smelt it dealt it? 4 11.43%
crop dusted? 12 34.29%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 35. You may not vote on this poll

 
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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:08 AM Thread Starter
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so as i sit here...

someone decides to be cute and lets out a creeper making this area uninhabitable. I sit at the yellow spot. who do you think did it? polls up

Last edited by uicsux; 06-12-2012 at 11:43 AM.
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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:15 AM
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what are the winds today?

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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:21 AM Thread Starter
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this area has very similar characteristics of a valley where the winds swirl in a vortex. but 5 mph from the north east
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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:21 AM
pfft.
 
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agree with burntash. you need to ID the air vents on your map. also, any recon about what the squares have eaten for breakfast and lunch is helpful.
Money is always on the coffee drinkers-- coffee=farts.
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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burntash View Post
what are the winds today?
Here's the latest METAR from ORD:

KORD 021616Z 19016G21KT 10SM -RA BKN015 OVC033 17/16 A2951 RMK AO2 PK WND 17026/1555 TSE15 CB DSNT NE P000



Winds are from the south at 16 knots gusting to 21 knots.



Garfield, I think it was a crop duster.

Never a bad time to climb... unless the weather is really horrible, and then you climb inside!

I bleed GREEN
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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:23 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ill_ag View Post
agree with burntash. you need to ID the air vents on your map. also, any recon about what the squares have eaten for breakfast and lunch is helpful.
Money is always on the coffee drinkers-- coffee=farts.
they are all engineers. everyone downs coffee like its going out of style. i'll try to document the vents
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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:24 AM
pfft.
 
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Also, is there a printer/copier/fax nearby? Or any other common areas.

I can tell you aren't an engineer because you provided shit for a map
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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:25 AM
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also dont forget the factor or a cropdusting, this could throw off the entire formula

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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:27 AM
Mmmmmm....
 
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I think that you can always tell the culprit... as much as you hope the smell moves, it can't move too far.

No one farts here. At my last job people would rip ass all day long and even walk into my office and let one loose and shut the door and leave. I miss that.

Sometimes your knight in shining armor is just a retard wrapped in tin foil.
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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:28 AM
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Any of those spots occupied by women? If so just blame them.

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post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:31 AM
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I would say that it was a drive by..... based on the configuration of said cubicles. The common area, local shared office machinery and the fact that the traffic in said area would forcs the vortex into somewhat of a draft tunnel and you my friend would be the first to get hit by the drive by... So I recommend, a plug in air freshener, a handy can of air freshner also and go eat Egg Salad or cabbage for lunch and fight the Power..

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post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:32 AM
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are they cubicles or open land.

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:44 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burntash View Post
are they cubicles or open land.
wide open cubes just slightly closer to sea level than the rest of the area
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post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:45 AM
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opps. excuse me

If my calculations are correct, this will create ice... OH NO, KILLER MUSTARD GAS!
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post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:52 AM
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dealing with a farter is like playing a game of texas hold' em.

when the smell hit you did you look up and look at the faces of all the players at the table?

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #16 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:56 AM
pfft.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drama View Post
Any of those spots occupied by women? If so just blame them.
Ok, drama is actually right on this one. It's high time I shared with you the secret of hot chicks and karma.
So, all men (and women) are created equal, right? We all have bad hair days, a pimple or two, snort when we laugh....etc. but what about the illustrious hot chick? She's lovely, very well put-together, has smooth skin, nice tits, lovely blue eyes...how is it that she is not above all other earthy creatures?

Well, the answer is bowel problems. Yes, the good lord created everyone equal, but in order to keep the hot woman on par with other humans, he had to give her a fault. And that fault is IBS. No joke, EVERY hot chick I know has it. In fact, if you ever become diagnosed with it, you can do a little happy dance because it means that you are, in fact, HOT.


Last edited by ill_ag; 05-02-2008 at 11:58 AM.
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post #17 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:56 AM
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What makes you think that you do not have an Il_ag problem?

On that note, when i have to tear ass, i'm courteous enough to run to the CR (HAAHA), pull the pantalones down, and proceed with the ass rippage. This also prevents accidental sharting and cropdusting.

Quote:
Originally Posted by G2G
No one says you have to get drunk everytime you drink.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoodles
Isn't that like having sex and not finishing though?
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post #18 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:57 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
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dealing with a farter is like playing a game of texas hold' em.

when the smell hit you did you look up and look at the faces of all the players at the table?
i tried! i opened my eyes that max it would go(3mm's), and looked at each possible culprit. no obvious ones. i'm not ruling out Professor Plum at this point
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post #19 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 11:59 AM
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What makes you think that you do not have an Il_ag problem?
Hey! I NEVER said I was hot.

Someone ban him again.
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post #20 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 12:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ill_ag View Post
Hey! I NEVER said I was hot.

Someone ban him again.
Whoa, Texas Ranger, i was referring to your friend with the stinky bf. Sheesh. So quick to ban. Anywho, the hot chick theory, my gf's pretty hot imo, and she's farted in the car and it really smelled like nothing. one night, i asked her to let one rip while i dig my nose in her sphincter (sp) so i can get a full whiff, but she denied access.

Quote:
Originally Posted by G2G
No one says you have to get drunk everytime you drink.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoodles
Isn't that like having sex and not finishing though?
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post #21 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 12:04 PM
pfft.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EndlessRR View Post
Whoa, Texas Ranger, i was referring to your friend with the stinky bf. Sheesh. So quick to ban. Anywho, the hot chick theory, my gf's pretty hot imo, and she's farted in the car and it really smelled like nothing. one night, i asked her to let one rip while i dig my nose in her sphincter (sp) so i can get a full whiff, but she denied access.
Oh, ok. Thank goodness.

+rep for the texas ranger, though....I like it. It's made the short list of new scrennames.
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post #22 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 12:07 PM
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Originally Posted by ill_ag View Post
In fact, if you ever become diagnosed with it, you can do a little happy dance because it means that you are, in fact, HOT.
I fart uncontrollably and take multiple shits each day. I figured it was just because I was disgusting.
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post #23 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 12:23 PM
pfft.
 
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I fart uncontrollably and take multiple shits each day. I figured it was just because I was disgusting.
The hot algorithm applies to women only. It is generally assumed that ALL men fart, regardless of their looks. It is the Great Equalizer of the Male Race
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post #24 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 12:24 PM
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post #25 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 12:25 PM
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see cropdusting around here is more of a proud moment if we can clear a room here ....its all about the boasting of it since the office here is like a family

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Quote:
Watching the Cubs lose is the opposite of appreciating a fine wine ó itís like watching a car accident in progress. Itís horrifying, yet gruesomely riveting, and you canít help but watch and sympathize with the poor souls inside.
Quote:
Originally Posted by burntash View Post
coming to CLSB for relationship advice is like asking fat people in mcdonalds about nutrition.
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post #26 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 12:30 PM
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True story.

I once cleared the gymnasium at Maine East during a gymnastics meet for tearing ninja ass.

Quote:
Originally Posted by G2G
No one says you have to get drunk everytime you drink.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snoodles
Isn't that like having sex and not finishing though?
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post #27 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 12:31 PM
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I can make my own eyes water.
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post #28 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-02-2008, 12:33 PM
Sarcasm in every post.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ill_ag View Post
Also, is there a printer/copier/fax nearby? Or any other common areas.

I can tell you aren't an engineer because you provided shit for a map

Ken.


My Garage.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
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