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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-13-2008, 11:31 PM Thread Starter
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Thoughts?

I recently have been given some amount of money. Well my mom has asked me to give some of that to my dad's dad. I'm reluctant to do so, my mom feels bad for him because he is broke. However without thinking I responded with something along these lines "why would I give him money when he didn't do or give shit to my dad". Long story short my dad doesn't talk to his dad. My dad kind of depises his dad. My dad's dad never gave my dad anything and he was raise by my grand grandmother and his father sent all his brothers and sisters to school besides him and he had to work in a factory to survive. But anyways, I feel guilty for what I said to my mom about me giving him something when he screwed my dad over. If you were in my place what would you do? I'm just confused and it's really starting to bother me and question myself if I'm just fucked up and cold hearted.

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Last edited by Incubi; 06-13-2008 at 11:41 PM.
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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-13-2008, 11:38 PM
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I wouldn't give him anything. I have a grandpa like that, he's just a piece of crap and would never get anything from me.
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 12:06 AM
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 12:14 AM
PROBLEM SOLVED!
 
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Ask your Dad's opinion on how he feels about the whole situation.

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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 12:17 AM
im the greek guy
 
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dude wtf no question about this, keep your money

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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 12:20 AM
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Quote:
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Do whatever sits most comfortable with you. You are the only one who has to live w/ your choice.
+1

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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 12:40 AM
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It obviously bothers you, so you know the right thing to do.

Good karma too. Help him out

Eric
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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 12:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Maynard View Post
It obviously bothers you, so you know the right thing to do.

Good karma too. Help him out


That would be showing him that you're not like him; that you're better than that

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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 02:11 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks for the advices. I'm going to give it to him, that's the only thing that makes sense. There's a reason why what I said yesterday bothered me and I'd have no problem giving money to the homeless or help out a friend etc.. and I don't see why I should help blood out.

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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 02:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Incubi View Post
Thanks for the advices. I'm going to give it to him, that's the only thing that makes sense. There's a reason why what I said yesterday bothered me and I'd have no problem giving money to the homeless or help out a friend etc.. and I don't see why I should help blood out.
Blood relations can make it extra hard. Make sure you have a limit set before you start, and don't let it be a boat anchor to you to your own detriment. Other family needs to step in to help too and start the process to see if he qualifies for any other forms of assistance that may be out there. Working together, it should make it easier on everyone.

Everyone Exaggerates

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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 02:33 AM
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I would talk to your dad, and explain why you are helping him. Karma ftw!

I don't ride, I cook!
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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 07:11 AM
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Understandably complicated situation. I would consider giving the money anonymously. Accomplishes your goal of giving something back (helping someone out) without the all the potential downfalls of giving money to relatives. In order for this to work, you will have to expect nothing in return.

Good luck. Sounds like you are doing the right thing.

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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 07:53 AM
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Apparently Karma came full circle with your dad's dad, and know he's in dire straits. Boo hoo. Bad behavior should never be rewarded, no exceptions. Keep your money.

-Mike
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 08:41 AM
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Use the money for a track bike.

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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 10:08 AM
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In The End.... Parents are just people....some good, some not so.

Like him or not, his blood runs in your veins and there are only a handful
of people on the planet that you can say that about.

You have to do what you feel is right... just... and the thing that
you will sleep the best with over time.


But remeber this..... If you decide to give.

Have no expectations that it would change *anything* about who he is,
who he was, how he acts, his relationship with your father or with you ...
.. nothing.

Give from the heart to your GrandFather without expectation.




Hope this helps.


Tom

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post #16 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 10:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BLARNEY View Post
Give from the heart to your GrandFather without expectation.
Good Advice

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post #17 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 10:53 AM
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I'm not in your situation, but from your brief explination, I wouldn't give him a dime. The wounds must be pretty deep for your Dad to hate his own father. I would give it to a charity that would appreciate it more.

Mike

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post #18 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 01:18 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BLARNEY View Post
In The End.... Parents are just people....some good, some not so.

Like him or not, his blood runs in your veins and there are only a handful
of people on the planet that you can say that about.

You have to do what you feel is right... just... and the thing that
you will sleep the best with over time.


But remeber this..... If you decide to give.

Have no expectations that it would change *anything* about who he is,
who he was, how he acts, his relationship with your father or with you ...
.. nothing.

Give from the heart to your GrandFather without expectation.




Hope this helps.


Tom
Yea I don't expect anything in return. I'm doing what feels right and already with the decision I made, I feel better.
Thanks again to the others for advice, but I just couldn't not give him the money I know I'd regret it and it would be a burden that I'd have to carry for the rest of my life and I don't think I could do it.

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post #19 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 08:04 PM
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You'll never miss the money.... you may never have another chance to do the right thing by your GrandFather.

Good choice ..... no price can be put on peace of mind.

Tom

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post #20 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-14-2008, 08:11 PM
Irony helps us play!
 
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Don't ask this guy what to do with the money...



then again....

Everyone Exaggerates

We're being taken for a ride... agaaaaaaain.....


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post #21 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-15-2008, 10:33 PM
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Just don;t give out of quilt, imagine what you would do with it without your mothers input. Then do that.

===========
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post #22 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-15-2008, 10:41 PM
its just what i do
 
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we all f up. just keep that in mind.
do what makes you happy, and what you can live with.


if you can t figure out a solution. pm me ill take it

We'r all good loving people here....aren't we?
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post #23 of 23 (permalink) Old 06-15-2008, 10:46 PM
C2M
ǝɹoɯʎuɐ ʞɔnɟ ɐ sǝʌıƃ oɥʍ
 
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why cant we just say your grand farther rather then your dads dad.

Karma do it move on.

One more thing you cant hold it against your grandfather for what he did to your father thats between those two. How did he treat you is the question you should be asking.

go time traveler style and go back in time, fuck his grandma, then shoot forward in time and then fuck his mom. Then return back to present state and call him a the product of two incest whores and hes your son and show video of you plowing the both members of his family. .
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