Too Funny.... - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-26-2008, 09:45 AM Thread Starter
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Too Funny....

Back Hair Removal -- Tips for Getting Rid of Your Man Pelt

Jul 29th 2008
By Brian Abrams
Like an ExpertHow-to

Conquering the scruff that sprouts on your mug in junior high is a big moment, but then -- sometime around your mid-20s -- you're faced with the prospect of second puberty.

This stage, the Second Pubescent Period (as termed by Asylum), means that the simple grooming of your teens is racheted up a notch. You're forced to make a choice: Do you want your back and shoulder blades to resemble bearskin rugs? If the answer is no, we've got the necessary steps that need to be taken.

1. The leading gadgets for today's manscaping market are Razorba and ManGroomer. Apparently, the margin for error is less forgiving with the former, considering it's shaped like a rake. "For every bit of movement from side to side you make with your hand, it moves just that much more on your back. And that could hurt," says Todd Greene, founder of Headblade, Inc., who endorses ManGroomer as the more practical of the two. His product line "can definitely be used from the shoulders up. But if you can't see or touch what you're shaving, then you need a good friend."

2. That good friend, of course, can be either a giving significant other or an extremely cool neighbor. Just be prepared to shell out a nifty $50 every now and then to keep his or her mouth shut. The last thing you need is for a bitter ex to tell the world about your curly jungle.

Learn more about trimming the hedges after the jump.

3. Take a shower on full blast, whether you're washing or not. The heat will open the pores and thus make it easier to attack your furry back side.

4. Unless you enjoy spending 45 minutes with a broom and dustpan on the tile bathroom floor, our guess is that you'll want to shed the back-fro in the shower. Might want to stock up on Drano.

5. Use clippers to trim long hair down. Once that's done, shave away and go with the grain in short, firm strokes.

6. Keep a bottle of Tend Skin Liquid under the counter for afterward. A handful of massage therapists who don't specialize in happy endings recommend this particular lotion as a surefire way to keep those ingrown bastards to a minimum.

Alternative Plan #1: For a little more green, one can rid themselves of the D-I-Y shaving pains. "Waxing is the best way to go," says Natalie Miller, celeb hair stylist in Los Angeles. "It's fairly priced [averaging $70 a session] and very effective." If you opt for this, have a tolerance for pain. Sometimes the waxer will pull at the cloth with no results, which means they're yanking at your flesh with a lot of force.

Alternative Plan #2: If the wallet allows, consider laser removal. At just under $1,000, it's bye-bye back hair after a good six to eight treatments. "But it only works for dark hair," says Miller. "The lasers can only pick at dark hair follicles. It goes only by color." Guys who bleach their back hair (we know you're out there) will need to let that grow out.

The right way is not always the popular and easy way. Standing for right when it is unpopular is a true test of moral character

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-26-2008, 09:49 AM
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who bleaches their back hair??? wtf

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Originally Posted by Loki047 View Post
As long as their tits are bigger than their dicks, im in.

-"You will meet your destiny on the road of avoidance."

-"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That is why we call it the present."

-"It's not considered premarital sex if you don't plan on getting married."
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-26-2008, 09:58 AM
Sarcasm in every post.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trkyleg View Post
who bleaches their back hair??? wtf
exactly what I said.

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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-26-2008, 10:04 AM
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I agree ... who the hell bleaches their back hair? But then again, I don't know why people bleach their buttholes either.

Dante: [to Randal] You never go ass-to-mouth!
Randal: [to Dante] Would you grow up!
Becky: [to Dante] OK, I'm only telling you this because we're friends, but sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's forgivable to go ass-to-mouth.
Randal: [chuckling] Ha! I knew it.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-26-2008, 10:10 AM
Eat a bag o' dix!
 
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its gotta be clean for the close up. who wants to watch a dookie hole get pounded?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki047 View Post
As long as their tits are bigger than their dicks, im in.

-"You will meet your destiny on the road of avoidance."

-"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That is why we call it the present."

-"It's not considered premarital sex if you don't plan on getting married."
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