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post #1 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 09:35 AM Thread Starter

 
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Helping your drunk friend

So last night I'm trying to offer my best bud a hand getting home .
He's drunk and I'm concerned for his well being.

Well any way he starts getting in my face about always busting his balls and on his ass about shit.

This fella is almost 60 yrs old and needs a baby sitter ever time we go out.

If he's not pissing of the girls it's thier boy friends.My night turns into watching out for him.

It seems to me he has something up his craw that he wont disscuss sober but atacks me after he's drunk,this has happend a few times now and I let it go .

Last night he's going to swing at me for trying to help him get home safe.Calling me a muther f*%^$##.
I'm kind of pissed off, this story has been going on for years and dammit I don't deserve it.

If this was your story would you black his eye if he was swinging at you ,drunk or not?

Gus
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post #2 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 09:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by resurrection View Post
So last night I'm trying to offer my best bud a hand getting home .
He's drunk and I'm concerned for his well being.

Well any way he starts getting in my face about always busting his balls and on his ass about shit.

This fella is almost 60 yrs old and needs a baby sitter ever time we go out.

If he's not pissing of the girls it's thier boy friends.My night turns into watching out for him.

It seems to me he has something up his craw that he wont disscuss sober but atacks me after he's drunk,this has happend a few times now and I let it go .

Last night he's going to swing at me for trying to help him get home safe.Calling me a muther f*%^$##.
I'm kind of pissed off, this story has been going on for years and dammit I don't deserve it.

If this was your story would you black his eye if he was swinging at you ,drunk or not?

Yep. A buddy of mine was like that. Turns out, the black eye I gave him ended up being the wake-up call he needed.

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post #3 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 09:40 AM
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Simple.

Conversation about the issue. Set some boundaries. If no progress, tell him you'll be there when he is ready to straighten up.

Had this happen with a friend two years ago. Had a very mature, loving conversation with him, setting some boundaries and my genuine concern for him. Haven't heard from him since, even though I have reached out a few times.

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post #4 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 09:40 AM
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yep. he won't remember it anyway so tell him the next day that he fell down some stairs
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post #5 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 09:46 AM
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Personally I would have a 1 on 1 and tell him until he figures out his issues and fixes them no going out and drinking together.

Nothing worse then having to babysit someone when going out drinking. Kills all the fun.


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post #6 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 09:55 AM
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Have him arrested to give a defense lawyer a job.

win/win

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post #7 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 09:56 AM
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the guy is 60 years old and acting like this when he drinks? The guy is a bad drunk and needs to stop drinking. I have felt with people like this and They have to want to change cause otherwise it's just talk going into one ear and then out the other

...plus my gf was with me saying "omg slow down, slow down" and I was thinking "Lose annoying squalk box in passenger seat, afford more mods and have less weight in the car and on the back of the bike"...so i dumped her and I'm single again as usual...HERE KITTY KITTY!!!
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post #8 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 09:57 AM Thread Starter

 
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Rob what do you think of that?and how much will you charge me for his defence?

Gus
We offer three kinds of service @ Resurrection
GOOD - CHEAP - FAST
You can pick any two
GOOD service CHEAP won't be FAST
GOOD service FAST won't be CHEAP
FAST service CHEAP won't be GOOD
and cold beer.

I'd love to help but I don't chase parts.
Please contact other forum members and supporters for parts.
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post #9 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 09:57 AM
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I simply stop picking up calls from friends like that and I've had many. Either they straighten up or they go on making their lives even worse. Either way I have neither the time nor patience to deal with people like that anymore. I've been through it enough times to not want to put anymore effort in to it. Ever notice they lean harder on the person who tries to help em the most? If I had all the time in the world and I was sorting out my own problems I'd try to help everyone. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped or doesn't know they need to be helped. Sometimes they have to hit rock bottom to realize which way is up.
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post #10 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suh-c View Post
You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped or doesn't know they need to be helped. Sometimes they have to hit rock bottom to realize which way is up.

+1000000000


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post #11 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by resurrection View Post
Rob what do you think of that?and how much will you charge me for his defence?
what, you mean if you popped him one?

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post #12 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:01 AM
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Originally Posted by suh-c View Post
I simply stop picking up calls from friends like that and I've had many. Either they straighten up or they go on making their lives even worse. Either way I have neither the time nor patience to deal with people like that anymore. I've been through it enough times to not want to put anymore effort in to it. Ever notice they lean harder on the person who tries to help em the most? If I had all the time in the world and I was sorting out my own problems I'd try to help everyone. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped or doesn't know they need to be helped. Sometimes they have to hit rock bottom to realize which way is up.
+1.

I'll help a friend like that a couple times, telling them when they are sober if they ever pull that shit again, I'll leave them on the side of the curb.

Call me an asshole, but if they don't care about themselves, why the fuck should I? I have enough stuff to worry about without them.

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post #13 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:03 AM Thread Starter

 
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No If I called to have him arrested.

Gus
We offer three kinds of service @ Resurrection
GOOD - CHEAP - FAST
You can pick any two
GOOD service CHEAP won't be FAST
GOOD service FAST won't be CHEAP
FAST service CHEAP won't be GOOD
and cold beer.

I'd love to help but I don't chase parts.
Please contact other forum members and supporters for parts.
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post #14 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:05 AM
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Quote:
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No If I called to have him arrested.
For swinging at you?

Gus, you're confusing me....

The way I'm reading you here is that you want to have him arrested and then pay to defend him?

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post #15 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:07 AM
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Being that he's 60, I doubt he'll feel he has any reason to change. It sucks to have to be in your situation. I have a friend who's such an angry drunk that he got us all kicked out of HIS WEDDING RECEPTION! He was verbally attacking the bartender, etc. It was crazy. But his wife can deal with that, not me.

I don't know if I could ever hit one of my friends either unless they actually did something to me that made it justifiable, but hey maybe it is what he needs........ or you could end up screwing yourself over by doing it.

I would cut off all contact with him and let him know why you are doing so. That has worked for me with other things.....
post #16 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:08 AM
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Quote:
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For swinging at you?

Gus, you're confusing me....

The way I'm reading you here is that you want to have him arrested and then pay to defend him?

I think he means if he has him arrested for his drunk behavior.... not for either of them hitting each other.

I'm not sure though.
post #17 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:10 AM Thread Starter

 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch View Post
Have him arrested to give a defense lawyer a job.

win/win
Sorry Rob you must have missed this post and my joke.

Gus
We offer three kinds of service @ Resurrection
GOOD - CHEAP - FAST
You can pick any two
GOOD service CHEAP won't be FAST
GOOD service FAST won't be CHEAP
FAST service CHEAP won't be GOOD
and cold beer.

I'd love to help but I don't chase parts.
Please contact other forum members and supporters for parts.
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post #18 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:11 AM
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Sorry Rob you must have missed this post and my joke.
yeah, didn't see that one.

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post #19 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:19 AM Thread Starter

 
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I don't think theres any changing him .

Maybe I'm just alittle thin skinned ,but I expect more respect from people I put effort into.

Gus
We offer three kinds of service @ Resurrection
GOOD - CHEAP - FAST
You can pick any two
GOOD service CHEAP won't be FAST
GOOD service FAST won't be CHEAP
FAST service CHEAP won't be GOOD
and cold beer.

I'd love to help but I don't chase parts.
Please contact other forum members and supporters for parts.
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post #20 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:29 AM
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Have a sober conversation with him, if it doesn't help, you need new friends.. kinda blunt but the truth =\
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post #21 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:33 AM
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Take the kickstart lever off his bike. Don't answer the phone when he calls. Problem solved.
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post #22 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:37 AM Thread Starter

 
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Black eye much less painful .He's my friend ya know.

Gus
We offer three kinds of service @ Resurrection
GOOD - CHEAP - FAST
You can pick any two
GOOD service CHEAP won't be FAST
GOOD service FAST won't be CHEAP
FAST service CHEAP won't be GOOD
and cold beer.

I'd love to help but I don't chase parts.
Please contact other forum members and supporters for parts.
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post #23 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:39 AM
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One day Mort drank a half a bottle of Jager in one swig straight out the bottle then he tried to wrestle Marcus. Marcus armbarred him and Mort never did that shit again. End of story.
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post #24 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:45 AM
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One day Mort drank a half a bottle of Jager in one swig straight out the bottle then he tried to wrestle Marcus. Marcus armbarred him and Mort never did that shit again. End of story.
Dude, he armbarred me and I picked his ass up and slammed him on the ground multiple times. Get the fucking story straight. Then I lost my balance and fell on his head with his elbow.

And yes, I don't drink shit anymore. Had a wedding to go to, but that's about it. Maybe a beer on the weekends, but nothing during the week anymore. Wink has a story too.
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post #25 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:48 AM
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Quote:
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Dude, he armbarred me and I picked his ass up and slammed him on the ground multiple times. Get the fucking story straight. Then I lost my balance and fell on his head with his elbow.

And yes, I don't drink shit anymore. Had a wedding to go to, but that's about it. Maybe a beer on the weekends, but nothing during the week anymore. Wink has a story too.
oh and you took his pants off too
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post #26 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:49 AM
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oh and you took his pants off too
When I was slamming him on the ground, yes, his cheap ass pants tore.
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post #27 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:50 AM
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Whatever Jagermoster!
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post #28 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:51 AM
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+1 on sitting down and talking to him, i dont think violence is the answer

sometimes you need to run before you can walk

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post #29 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 10:54 AM
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+1 on sitting down and talking to him, i dont think violence is the answer
Sometimes it is.

I had a friend that couldn't walk, but he wanted to drive home from my place. I wrestled him to the ground, taking his keys from him. While I was being repeatedly punched and kicked in the face and head, I was still able to save his ass from driving hammered. I only used holds against him as it was too easy to strike his drunk ass.

Long story short, he joined the Marines not too much later. That night was part of the wake up call.
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post #30 of 45 (permalink) Old 09-27-2008, 11:04 AM
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Quote:
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Sometimes it is.

I had a friend that couldn't walk, but he wanted to drive home from my place. I wrestled him to the ground, taking his keys from him. While I was being repeatedly punched and kicked in the face and head, I was still able to save his ass from driving hammered. I only used holds against him as it was too easy to strike his drunk ass.

Long story short, he joined the Marines not too much later. That night was part of the wake up call.
Hopefully he can be one of the lucky ones where that actually helps reduce a drinking problem. Unfortunately, I know too many where it made the problem worse and their 'splash damage' unbelievable.

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