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post #1 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 10:54 PM Thread Starter
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Help for a friend

I have a friend who is in college and they are just having a bad time with life. I really don't know what to do. Would they be able to go to the school counselor to get some kind of help? Maybe the school counselor can direct them to the right direction for professional help?

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hahahaha, nice try. Everyone knows men age like wine and women age like milk. It's a scientific fact!!
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post #2 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 10:55 PM
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Yes.

May want to start with the nurse or other campus support group if it is a big campus.

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post #3 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 10:56 PM
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usually college's hav a psych department, where they can provide counseling for free or cheap
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post #4 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:01 PM
 
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join the army,he'll be able to shoot a m-16, and a 50 cal trust me he will be stress free!

shawn
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post #5 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:01 PM
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not thats its my business is he home sick or is it worst...just trying to figure the approach.

Chris
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post #6 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by str8belairs View Post
join the army,he'll be able to shoot a m-16, and a 50 cal trust me he will be stress free!

shawn
We had about 10 guys try to damage themselves in basic.

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post #7 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:03 PM
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Start with student health they should be able to see a doctor there.

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post #8 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:05 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hawkmonie View Post
not thats its my business is he home sick or is it worst...just trying to figure the approach.
It's a she and she's just have a hard time w/ life. She's been single for a while, friends screw her over, her family treats her like crap and everything is just getting to much. There is more, but I really don't want to get into to. Shes really depressed.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vcook View Post
hahahaha, nice try. Everyone knows men age like wine and women age like milk. It's a scientific fact!!
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post #9 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paladin View Post
We had about 10 guys try to damage themselves in basic.
true people get real questionable in basic.

Chris
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post #10 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:06 PM
 
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i got a buddy who was like that,i worked with him.and what we did for him we took him to one of those speed dating things,he hooked up with a new girl forgot about his ex and now he parties like the good ol barracks days!!

shawn
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post #11 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:07 PM
 
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Quote:
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We had about 10 guys try to damage themselves in basic.
we had zero thats why my squad best of the best

CALVARY SCOUTS LEAD THE WAY AIYEEE!
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post #12 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimbo View Post
It's a she and she's just have a hard time w/ life. She's been single for a while, friends screw her over, her family treats her like crap and everything is just getting to much. There is more, but I really don't want to get into to. Shes really depressed.
Sounds serious especially with the stress level of school, your first guess was right have her go to a school counselor or it sucks but you might have to rat and call yourself the adjustment can be tough especially if she has all those surrounding issues but they are an avenue to the school's resources so they will be able to point her in the best direction so she can get the support to carry on to become strong and capable of over coming the hard times she is going through.

Chris
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post #13 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by str8belairs View Post
we had zero thats why my squad best of the best

CALVARY SCOUTS LEAD THE WAY AIYEEE!
In the Marines we had quite a few I think the stress level was a wee bit different, either way this a college issue not a military adjustment.

Chris
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post #14 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:19 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks, I made her promise me she will get help tomorrow.

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"- Benjamin Franklin

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vcook View Post
hahahaha, nice try. Everyone knows men age like wine and women age like milk. It's a scientific fact!!
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post #15 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:22 PM
 
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your a good friend man.i was called a pussy growing up when i asked for help.but turned out good now! friends i mean not parents
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post #16 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:30 PM
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It sounds like she has, as a product of life, a very low self esteem; and that's a shame. What you listed out is a dog-pile of one thing after another that emotionally will knock a person down in life. If she's any bit religious, maybe there's a support group at an institution nearby that can offer something outside of the university setting. The thing to watch out for are the predatory groups that like to recruit and being in people in these situations for their own stupid purposes. There are legit ones around almost everywhere but to really find them you need to know some of the old-timers in a particular area because in college towns, word gets around what's decent and on the up and up and what is not. I hope she can find something even if it's just some geek who will just shut up and listen to her talk through her feelings/life/turmoils and not judge her.. it sounds like she's possibly had enough of that already.

The downside to 'professional help' is they like to dope you up and send you on your way and never get tot he root of the issue.. Here's a prescription, NEXT!

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post #17 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-16-2008, 11:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimbo View Post
Thanks, I made her promise me she will get help tomorrow.
Good I hope it works out for her Good luck to her and you! Good watching out for your friend.

Chris
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post #18 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-17-2008, 09:57 AM
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As a psychologist...I would suggest she goes to the counseling department at school as well. It wouldn't hurt to have a suicide assessment, just to make sure. And if she is just seeing a counselor...no medication will be given. You have to see a psychiatrist and most schools do not have one of those on staff...too expensive. She has to want the help to actually have the counseling work for her. Just be supportive and take note if she starts doing or saying the following: "I feel hopeless." "This isn't worth it." "I just wish I could disappear." and if she starts giving her stuff away or all of a sudden she seems fine and happy (people who are thinking of killing themselves often feel better once they have developed a plan and they feel like they have an actual out...and so they are happy). Good luck.

Isn't it the freakin' weekend yet???
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post #19 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-17-2008, 10:09 AM
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you can give her my number

For serious though, school programs can be good or bad depending on the school. Either way, it doesn't hurt to try. Usually they are free, so that's a good place to start. Hopefully she's of sound mind and can make the assessment of the counselor.

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post #20 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-17-2008, 10:11 AM
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a good solid link to a real friend from home can make a world of difference, dont just pawn her off on a counselor you gotta stay connected as well

-Jason
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post #21 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-17-2008, 10:14 AM
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Quote:
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a good solid link to a real friend from home can make a world of difference, dont just pawn her off on a counselor you gotta stay connected as well
Yup.. show her SOMEONE in the world cares about her well being...and don't abandon her like it seems everyone else has up to this point.

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post #22 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-17-2008, 10:18 AM
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the counselor is a great idea but also be there for her. regardless of how much the counselor helps her, she'll fall right back into the hole she's in now if she doesn't have people that support her. also, take her paintballing. it really helps get the stress down sometimes and it's fun at the same time.
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post #23 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-17-2008, 10:25 AM
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paintball is one of the best stress outlets ive ever found, though she might not be into that kinda of thing, if shes never played a private game is the best way to intro a person to it without being overwhelmed by a high level of play. set up a game and Ill definately fill a slot

-Jason
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post #24 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-17-2008, 11:10 AM
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going paintballing tomorrow can friggin wait.


to the op...getting her help is good but you are going to have to show her that you are there for her too. where does she go to school, i might not mind paying her a visit . got any pics??

not to sound insensitive but she may just need a good romp in the hay to take her mind off of things. if you guys are friends you may be a good candidate for that type of thing.

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post #25 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-17-2008, 11:17 AM
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One important thing that I don't think had been addressed is... Is this person looking to get professional help or are they coming to you with her feelings and you feel that a professional would be better able to handle?

Trying to get someone who isn't looking for professional help to go get it can be really challenging.

Namaste

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post #26 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-17-2008, 11:31 AM
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buy her an XR80 and take her dirtbiking? works for me everytime!
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post #27 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-18-2008, 01:08 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks everyone. We have a good relationship and we text all day long. She hasn't said anything about giving up, she just wants to be happy. It's pretty bad when her own dad calls her stupid and stuff like that.

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Quote:
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hahahaha, nice try. Everyone knows men age like wine and women age like milk. It's a scientific fact!!
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post #28 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-18-2008, 01:33 AM
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Forgive me if I missed this, but does she live on-campus or does she commute?

I would like to reiterate the student counseling services as a start. Also, to expand on what Arch said, she should check out campus ministry services. I know most colleges have a Newman Center (Catholic campus ministry), and if she is not Catholic, the staff probably has a list of other campus ministry organizations and they most likely know which ones are legit and which ones are not.

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post #29 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-18-2008, 01:36 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Norseman82 View Post
Forgive me if I missed this, but does she live on-campus or does she commute?

I would like to reiterate the student counseling services as a start. Also, to expand on what Arch said, she should check out campus ministry services. I know most colleges have a Newman Center (Catholic campus ministry), and if she is not Catholic, the staff probably has a list of other campus ministry organizations and they most likely know which ones are legit and which ones are not.
She commutes

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hahahaha, nice try. Everyone knows men age like wine and women age like milk. It's a scientific fact!!
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post #30 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-18-2008, 01:28 PM
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Not only have her talk to someone but maybe look into joining a club. She will meet like minded people and probably make friends. If you are close maybe the two of you could set up a weekly "Date". That will give her something too look forward to. Even if it's just coffee or ice cream. Does she have any hobbys? Love music? Take in a concert, or get her a small gift that is personal, maybe a journal? Just knowing you care can make a world of difference.

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