Hilarious texts (NSW language) - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 03:06 PM Thread Starter
Track Noob
 
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 158
Location: Chicago
Sportbike: Ducati Monster S2R
Years Riding: 3 years
How you found us: MoChA
           
Hilarious texts (NSW language)

this is some funny shit!

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

05 Monster S2R.. Modded to hell
00 Yamaha R6 Track Bike (Thanks Biggy)
NESBA I #13

My Garage
If its black, lean it over
If its green, stand it up.
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post #2 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 03:39 PM
G2G
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 14,287
Location: Chicago
Sportbike: It changes everyday
Years Riding: since 1991
How you found us: Ur mom
           
(518): Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle



(312): Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
(773): You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal




(973): On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?



I think of WSE when i read this one
(214): I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute





(859): im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever



(248): If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.



(207): We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.




(310): I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set





(703): party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.



(415): I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.




This one is the best!!!
(216): ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
(740): 100 blowjobs





(310): All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
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post #3 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 03:43 PM
G2G
Registered User
 
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 14,287
Location: Chicago
Sportbike: It changes everyday
Years Riding: since 1991
How you found us: Ur mom
           
(323): Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
(310): You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
(323): So...no?`



(530): Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake




(970): Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.


(303): My liver just broke up with me...
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post #4 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 04:03 PM
You got the talkin' done
 
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Alaska, WI
Posts: 15,711
Location: Alaska, WI
Sportbike: 2016 Honda Africa Twin & 1979 Honda CB750F
Years Riding: long enough to have fallen off a few times - glad I wear a helmet!
How you found us: Loose Lips Sink Ships, Loose Wires Cause Fires
           
(917): last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
(917): this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
(917): he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
(718): messed up. what color are the wings?

If you ain't with us, then it's just bad news.
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post #5 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 04:20 PM
Go Hawks!
 
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Plainfield
Posts: 3,541
Location: Plainfield
Sportbike: 1000RR (Sold) Looking
Years Riding: Long time but few miles
How you found us: I saw CLSB tatooed on some porn star's ass
           
(832): I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.


haahah




"I am Jack's smirking revenge.."
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post #6 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 04:22 PM
The Halo hides my Horns
 
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Bolingbrook, IL
Posts: 12,687
Location: Bolingbrook, IL
Sportbike: SV650
Years Riding: 1 year
How you found us: Google
           
I read through the whole page...I can think of a few people here while reading them.

Makes me want to drink this weekend...a lot.

aut cum scuto aut in scuto

http://www.firespeedtactical.com

My ZenFolio Gallery: www.LonelyRaven.ZenFolio.com
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post #7 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 04:24 PM
A.K.A. Vodka Waters
 
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Aurora, IL
Posts: 3,787
Location: Aurora, IL
Sportbike: '06 GSX-R600 Red/Black
Years Riding: a few weeks
How you found us: Fell asleep on the keyboard, woke up here
           
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(419): I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.

Adam
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post #8 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 04:40 PM
A.K.A. Vodka Waters
 
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Aurora, IL
Posts: 3,787
Location: Aurora, IL
Sportbike: '06 GSX-R600 Red/Black
Years Riding: a few weeks
How you found us: Fell asleep on the keyboard, woke up here
           
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So wrong, but I LoL-ed

(417): He has such a weird drunk-voice.
(1-417): dude, he's deaf.

Adam
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post #9 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 04:42 PM
b boy on his k3 liter
 
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Richton park, IL
Posts: 1,212
Location: Richton park, IL
Sportbike: 03 GSXR 1000
Years Riding: over 6 years
How you found us: friends
           
Send a message via Yahoo to b boy
what people say sometimes. LOL

b boy
03 Gsxr 1000
00 TL 1000R
USAF
USAFHG
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post #10 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 05:30 PM
Go Hawks!
 
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Plainfield
Posts: 3,541
Location: Plainfield
Sportbike: 1000RR (Sold) Looking
Years Riding: Long time but few miles
How you found us: I saw CLSB tatooed on some porn star's ass
           
(202): Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.


__________________________________________________ _________________________
(858): My sheets look like a crime scene.




"I am Jack's smirking revenge.."
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post #11 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 05:35 PM
Go Hawks!
 
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Plainfield
Posts: 3,541
Location: Plainfield
Sportbike: 1000RR (Sold) Looking
Years Riding: Long time but few miles
How you found us: I saw CLSB tatooed on some porn star's ass
           
(546)Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.


925): Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.

856): My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?




"I am Jack's smirking revenge.."
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post #12 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 05:36 PM
The Benchwarmer
 
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago
Posts: 14,580
Location: Chicago
Sportbike: Ninja
Years Riding: Long
How you found us: Dong
           
this looks familiar

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #13 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 06:02 PM
Registered User
 
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Hoffman Estates
Posts: 11,446
Location: Hoffman Estates
Sportbike: '04 CBR 600RR
Years Riding: days
How you found us: youngkow's monkey ass
           
Quote:
Originally Posted by burntash View Post
this looks familiar
hmmmm i wonder where he saw it
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post #14 of 28 (permalink) Old 04-30-2009, 06:07 PM
Thee original azzhole!
 
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: bartlett
Posts: 6,912
Location: bartlett
Sportbike: 97 900rr-rip 09/09, 69 chevelle SS, & ???
Years Riding: it doesnt matter
How you found us: i see all
           
Send a message via AIM to Thunderstruck
(602): OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now


ok fish....WHO IS THIS??????????????????????

and i love this one
(213): whats up tonight?
(408): Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind

...plus my gf was with me saying "omg slow down, slow down" and I was thinking "Lose annoying squalk box in passenger seat, afford more mods and have less weight in the car and on the back of the bike"...so i dumped her and I'm single again as usual...HERE KITTY KITTY!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arch View Post
pussy is the root of all evil...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hunny View Post
mmmm pussy
You dont like me....i dont give a fuck...cause i'll still put ya in the hospital...me tollerating you is all that matters...

Last edited by Thunderstruck; 04-30-2009 at 06:11 PM.
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post #15 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-01-2009, 08:41 AM
Registered User
 
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: in limbo
Posts: 619
Location: in limbo
Sportbike: 05 Busa LE
Years Riding: too many years to remember but not enough to be great
How you found us: search engine
           
(712): Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.

(617): So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.

Last edited by goneridin; 05-01-2009 at 08:44 AM.
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post #16 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 10:14 AM
Sunny and 70
 
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 2,410
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Sportbike: 2008 Tuono 1000 R
Years Riding: 12 years
How you found us: GSXR.com
           
(630): do you know how bad I want you right now?
(1-630): As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
(630): is that a hint?

(216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
(440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
(216): Holy shit r u serious? How?
(440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
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post #17 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 10:39 AM
The Halo hides my Horns
 
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Bolingbrook, IL
Posts: 12,687
Location: Bolingbrook, IL
Sportbike: SV650
Years Riding: 1 year
How you found us: Google
           
If you see any 630 txts, they are most definitely NOT me. NO sir, not me.

aut cum scuto aut in scuto

http://www.firespeedtactical.com

My ZenFolio Gallery: www.LonelyRaven.ZenFolio.com
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post #18 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 10:52 AM
ummm.....yea
 
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: here and there
Posts: 822
Location: here and there
Sportbike: 06 graphite Daytona 675
Years Riding: since July 2008
How you found us: through a link
    
Send a message via AIM to wizard8873
(650): Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)

-Marcin
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post #19 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 10:53 AM
2%
 
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: palos hills il
Posts: 919
Location: palos hills il
Sportbike: nothing for now...
Years Riding: 7 years
How you found us: JFGI
       
Send a message via AIM to milkman
(724): also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.

PM for cheap computer work
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post #20 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 11:32 AM
ummm.....yea
 
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: here and there
Posts: 822
Location: here and there
Sportbike: 06 graphite Daytona 675
Years Riding: since July 2008
How you found us: through a link
    
Send a message via AIM to wizard8873
(203): I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.

(330): now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me

(225): Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
(1-225): Wtf?
(225): Use the slutty part of ur brain.

(508): I'm so horny!
(781): I'm so hungry
(508): WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
(781): For your pussy...

(847): just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.

(512): i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy

(608): Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
(608): Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.

(781): btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry

(612): hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
(651): who is this?
(612): jesse's little brother

-Marcin
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post #21 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 04:48 PM
A.K.A. Vodka Waters
 
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Aurora, IL
Posts: 3,787
Location: Aurora, IL
Sportbike: '06 GSX-R600 Red/Black
Years Riding: a few weeks
How you found us: Fell asleep on the keyboard, woke up here
           
Send a message via AIM to muddy Send a message via MSN to muddy
(281): 3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.

Adam
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post #22 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 05:01 PM
Bug
Ridiculously Good Looking
 
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Gold Coast
Posts: 32,749
Location: Gold Coast
Sportbike: Sportbike?
Years Riding: No F'in Idea
How you found us: 4 & 6
           
How did they get their hands on this????

(312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming WOW, what a RIDE !!"
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post #23 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 05:20 PM
We ride tomorrow?
 
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Appleton WI
Posts: 1,121
Location: Appleton WI
Sportbike: i like 04's
Years Riding: not enough
How you found us: NESBA.com
           
(206): I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner

totally did that, down the stairs
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post #24 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 05:55 PM
I'm a non-achiever.
 
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Naperville
Posts: 2,929
Location: Naperville
Sportbike: KTM 450sx/Sumo, XR50R w/training wheels
Years Riding: street 06; track 09
How you found us: the cops
           
(203): i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
(787): you smoke with your eyes?

"Slow is smooth, Smooth is fast"
#313
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post #25 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 06:03 PM
I'm a non-achiever.
 
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Naperville
Posts: 2,929
Location: Naperville
Sportbike: KTM 450sx/Sumo, XR50R w/training wheels
Years Riding: street 06; track 09
How you found us: the cops
           
(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

This site RULES!

"Slow is smooth, Smooth is fast"
#313
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post #26 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 06:06 PM
I'm a non-achiever.
 
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Naperville
Posts: 2,929
Location: Naperville
Sportbike: KTM 450sx/Sumo, XR50R w/training wheels
Years Riding: street 06; track 09
How you found us: the cops
           
(215): I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
(717): Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?

"Slow is smooth, Smooth is fast"
#313
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post #27 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 06:10 PM
I'm a non-achiever.
 
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Naperville
Posts: 2,929
Location: Naperville
Sportbike: KTM 450sx/Sumo, XR50R w/training wheels
Years Riding: street 06; track 09
How you found us: the cops
           
Steve G2Gesqe

(440): The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"

"Slow is smooth, Smooth is fast"
#313
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post #28 of 28 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 08:14 PM
n00b
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Crystal Lake il
Posts: 772
Location: Crystal Lake il
Sportbike: Yamaha feejer and Suzuki vstrom
Years Riding: 5 years
How you found us: search engine
           
Send a message via AIM to zed88
(616): i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.


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