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post #1 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:37 AM Thread Starter
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Well damn...

So I wake this morning from a great weekend in Vegas to get ready for work. I see 5 phone calls on my cell phone (it was on vibrate). Four of them were from my aunt who is hysterical on the phone.

I call back as I am on my way into the office to find out that my cousin was arrested for check fraud! Apparently, the guy she was dating and then engaged to is a freak. He GAVE her a few checks to write for some wedding stuff and also to help her get a new car. Well, it turns out that all the checks bounced! So he is getting phone calls and he says that he never authorized the use of his checks...

Ok, so my cousin isn't necessarily the sharpest knife in the drawer. She has had her issues throughout life. But still, I highly doubt she would have done this without his permission.

What it sounds like is that HIS family is going nuts over his marriage and is doing everything to stop it. The family is fairly wealthy and my cousin has NOTHING. So now, they are filing charges against her for forgery (even though HE signed the checks and gave them to her) AND sewing her for damages.

So now, I am involved in this big thing because they have absolutely no money. It's not the money thing that is making me upset, although I KNOW this will cost in the tens of thousands, but the fact that my cousin keeps finding herself in bad situations. She has put my aunt through more grief than anyone. She can't keep a job and always manages to come up with an excuse as to why THIS one didn't work out.

So, here I am am doing a bailout of my own because there is no way I am going to allow my cousin to sit in jail. $5,000.00 wired to get her out today. Now I just got off the p0hone with a lawyer that I have worked with in my brother's company for a few years now. He is reviewing the case, but needs a deposit and he will be fishing it off to a criminal attorney he works for. $5,000.00 wired to the attorney. Now, my cousin has no car as the car she bought with the check has been taken back. $10,000.00 wired to have my sister buy her a car as I would NOT trust my cousin to take the money and do the right thing with it.

I love my family, but this is just nuts. Anyone else experience anything like this? Please tell me I am not the only one who has messed up family that need to be bailed out every couple-of-years.

Ruined my weekend and depleted my checking account

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post #2 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:40 AM
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no

but 10 g's for a car?

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post #3 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:40 AM
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Usually my family is bailing me out
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post #4 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:41 AM
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post #5 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:44 AM
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Unfortunately I dont think you are being told the entire story....only enough to appeal to your generosity and willingness to help family out at any cost. Good luck.
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post #6 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:44 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2weelpilot View Post
no

but 10 g's for a car?
She actually has a job now where she needs a decent car - she drives customers around and shit. She needs that job to pay me back so I had to get her a "decent" used car. She has a couple thousand she is throwing in to buy a G6 or something.

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post #7 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:44 AM
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Paul, 9 years ago I forked out $65K to help multiple family members because I was a pushover and felt bad. You got off easy

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post #8 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kruz View Post
Unfortunately I dont think you are being told the entire story....only enough to appeal to your generosity and willingness to help family out at any cost. Good luck.
I have have to agree here

go time traveler style and go back in time, fuck his grandma, then shoot forward in time and then fuck his mom. Then return back to present state and call him a the product of two incest whores and hes your son and show video of you plowing the both members of his family. .
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post #9 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:46 AM
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post #10 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:46 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kruz View Post
Unfortunately I dont think you are being told the entire story....only enough to appeal to your generosity and willingness to help family out at any cost. Good luck.
Well, this is coming from my Aunt (who I trust 100%) but it's just a rehash of what SHE is being told from her daughter.

Oh, the BIG stink of this was that my aunt gave her grand daughter some money for a car repair and was given one of these checks to help her. Apparently, the fiance' wanted to help - like $1,200.00. My aunt has NO money. So now, HER check bounced because HIS check bounced.

This is so freaking incredible it's beyond even remotely funny. So now my aunt is getting these notices of overdraft and penalties...

Here goes another 2k...

Such a bummer

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post #11 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:48 AM
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It's stories like these, that makes me question/hate the concept of "family," and how people strongly believe that you must blindly support "family" no matter what. There's a threshold of reasonable support vs simply being taken advantage of and making others throw their time, money, and energy away for what is probably a useless cause.
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post #12 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:48 AM
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Paul,

I know you're a wonderful guy, and I too would do anything in my power to help my family, but there has to be a time when people take responsibility for their actions so they can learn from their mistakes. I had a boyfriend who I was constantly picking up after...bail, lawyers, bills, etc. I had to realize that it's going to continue to be my problem, not his, as long as i was always fixing the situation for him. Everyone needs help every once in a while, but when it becomes a pattern, you have to wonder if you've become an enabler. As for the 10 g's for the car.. was public transportation not an option?

EDIT: I see the car is for business purposes... but I'm sure you see my point.
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post #13 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:50 AM
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I pretty much don't talk to anyone in my family and am quite happy. I have a really messed up family though so it was easier for me to just disown them than deal with their shit.
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post #14 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kblack View Post
Paul,

I know you're a wonderful guy, and I too would do anything in my power to help my family, but there has to be a time when people take responsibility for their actions so they can learn from their mistakes. I had a boyfriend who I was constantly picking up after...bail, lawyers, bills, etc. I had to realize that it's going to continue to be my problem, not his, as long as i was always fixing the situation for him. Everyone needs help every once in a while, but when it becomes a pattern, you have to wonder if you've become an enabler. As for the 10 g's for the car.. was public transportation not an option?

EDIT: I see the car is for business purposes... but I'm sure you see my point.

go time traveler style and go back in time, fuck his grandma, then shoot forward in time and then fuck his mom. Then return back to present state and call him a the product of two incest whores and hes your son and show video of you plowing the both members of his family. .
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post #15 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
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no

but 10 g's for a car?
Should have bought her a moped and she can ride 2 on that.

As your attorney, I advise to you take this acid
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post #16 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:53 AM
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post #17 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:53 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bek View Post
It's stories like these, that makes me question/hate the concept of "family," and how people strongly believe that you must blindly support "family" no matter what. There's a threshold of reasonable support vs simply being taken advantage of and making others throw their time, money, and energy away for what is probably a useless cause.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kblack View Post
Paul,

I know you're a wonderful guy, and I too would do anything in my power to help my family, but there has to be a time when people take responsibility for their actions so they can learn from their mistakes. I had a boyfriend who I was constantly picking up after...bail, lawyers, bills, etc. I had to realize that it's going to continue to be my problem, not his, as long as i was always fixing the situation for him. Everyone needs help every once in a while, but when it becomes a pattern, you have to wonder if you've become an enabler. As for the 10 g's for the car.. was public transportation not an option?
I agree with both of you. Believe me, I am not doing this all that willingly or with my eyes closed. It was an appeal from my aunt whom I would do anything for - she has NEVER asked me for anything ever. The fact that she is coming to me, an no one else, means she wants to keep this quiet and knows that I never say shit to anyone if asked. If my mother or brother would find out, they would have a shit fit which won't help anyone - they are completely fed up over the many issues of my cousin and her brother and sister - all of them have had issues.

I just want to get the ball rolling on this for 2 reasons: 1, I don't want it to get worse where there are unforseen problems that put it beyond our control. And 2, I need to stop with the phone calls I am getting.

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post #18 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 10:56 AM
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I refuse to bailout family. Next thing you know you'll have 2 people in trouble instead of one. f dat!!

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post #19 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 11:04 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
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I refuse to bailout family. Next thing you know you'll have 2 people in trouble instead of one. f dat!!
Probably right here. It's that balance. I am not helping them 100%. They need to do the rest on their own. I am just gettign them started.

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post #20 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 11:07 AM
 
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I'm glad I'm an asshole. No bailing out anyone unless it's for minor things(DUI $500 bail, public intox etc.).
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post #21 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 11:14 AM
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Paul, I hate to admit this, but I have a younger brother that gets in similar trouble. He's pulling my parents down with him, and it breaks my heart. I wish I could help them, but my parents made it very clear that I'm not to get dragged down in these kinds of issues. (I've already been there with roommate issues in the past)

It sounds like you are doing the right thing, just make sure you don't go down with the ship. Keep yer wits about you!

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post #22 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 11:17 AM
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I'm gonna have to see pics of your cousin before I can muster up an opinion or advice.

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post #23 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 11:18 AM
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I'm gonna have to see pics of your cousin before I can muster up an opinion or advice.

Oh good point where the pictures

go time traveler style and go back in time, fuck his grandma, then shoot forward in time and then fuck his mom. Then return back to present state and call him a the product of two incest whores and hes your son and show video of you plowing the both members of his family. .
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post #24 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 11:18 AM
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Probably right here. It's that balance. I am not helping them 100%. They need to do the rest on their own. I am just gettign them started.
Just be carefull. I see this with my father-in-law and his son. He constanstly tries to "get him started" He always ends up in the same place, which happens to be drunk in his basement! Sometimes, when people have constant patterns of trouble, any help at all is just enablement.

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post #25 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 11:24 AM
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post #26 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 11:27 AM
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Good for u Paul. I deal with scum family members. Thanksfully yours r just getting caught in the middle of someone elses shit. I have walked away from at least 1 member of my family because they keep getting themselves in trouble constantly and dragging my parents into it because they got $$$. I won't deal with them.

yours just go caught up with the wrong assholes that like hurting people over bullshit.

...plus my gf was with me saying "omg slow down, slow down" and I was thinking "Lose annoying squalk box in passenger seat, afford more mods and have less weight in the car and on the back of the bike"...so i dumped her and I'm single again as usual...HERE KITTY KITTY!!!
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post #27 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 11:27 AM Thread Starter
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If you tell everyone ur broke they never come asking.
LOL. I thought about that too. Now I AM broke.

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post #28 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 11:36 AM
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Unfortunately I kinda see this coming with my sister and her plans to move accross the country with her BF to florida, neither really has great employment prospects, hes got a business degree or something and she has a degree in english and rhetoric(think editor)...

Im doing what I can to be ready to help out when and if the time comes which sincerely hope it doesnt but Im keeping in mind that you can only bail someone else out as long as your boat isnt sinking and so what I can do is pretty limited

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post #29 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 11:52 AM
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its family like you paul that keep the the unlucky ones out of the gutter. it may hurt now but i believe in karma and what goes around comes around. you may not realize but you just earned tons of good karma lol. in the past i have had to rely on friends and family for help and my cousin has helped me out of some deep shit. if that guy ever asks me for anything im there without a question.


as for the rest of you talking about disowning your family...thats one thing i could never do. i have a fucked up family just like the rest of you but family is there forever no matter what, at least mine is.

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post #30 of 43 (permalink) Old 06-01-2009, 12:06 PM
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Unfortunately I kinda see this coming with my sister and her plans to move accross the country with her BF to florida, neither really has great employment prospects, hes got a business degree or something and she has a degree in english and rhetoric(think editor)...

Im doing what I can to be ready to help out when and if the time comes which sincerely hope it doesnt but Im keeping in mind that you can only bail someone else out as long as your boat isnt sinking and so what I can do is pretty limited
Think of it as paying to send them away from you.

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