Just F-ing shoot me - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 12:01 AM Thread Starter
Old Squid on a Blade
 
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Just F-ing shoot me

Well I just blew off Gratten with the boys. For what amounts to a pile of bullshit reasons and am feeling rather low.
Work has me majorly bummed as I'm working harder than ever and am just seeing almost nothing back and am worried about my biz after 23 years. (F-ing economy and bankers) Plus, I've got 6 months of work coming to a head and I think my staff is not on the ball and feel like I have to baby sit them. Since I live in an all or nothing world, this has my immediate attention.
Then last week I had what I thought was a close friend, someone I'd do almost anything for and have gone out on multiple limbs for, majorly dump on me and I just don't get it. And multiple people around me that know the situation don't get it. Being a stand up kind of person and a good judge of "friends" is majorly important to me and this is really messing with me.
As I was getting ready to load up my wife and 2.5 year old started in with have fun, but be careful Daddy. So Mr. responsible kicked in and said " what the f are you doing"? What happens to them if you mess up?
Next, I've been working so much that I have well under 2000 miles in the saddle this year and while I was comfortable the last time at BHF, frankly very fast (for me) in sections that normally I don't like, I just never felt... for lack of a better word, clear.
Finally, my shoulder from 2 crashes ago is still hurting every day and I'm looking at gettng cut which "pleases me to no end".
So I was standing in the garage and just having a major dose of bad vibs and after talking to my wife, decided to blow off a paid for track day. I think the decision is right, as I'm majorly messed in the head and that's not a good thing going into a potentially "stressfull" and dangerous environment.
BUT! this never would have happened 20 years ago. And at 27 that still made me older than most of you. I just would have been history. Shit when I was racing sailboats, I'd just take off and say I'll see you in a few days to a week or 2. So now I'm sitting here half mashed after a bottle of port feeling old, weak, fat, slow and slowly going bald. Despite the fact that I still quite competent in almost anything I try to do, but being in the top third isn't cutting it. The sports I cared about I was at a national level. This top third shit and second guessing myself is bugging me. It feels like the beginning of the end.
So, wisely after a bottle of port I decided to write this mess. Don't ask me why as it just sounds like pissing to me, but the act makes me feel better.
So I guess the question in my mind is, does backing down mean I'm staring 50 in the eyes and getting old or am I just stressed out? Heck, does backing off the track have anything to do with anything? I dunno... So I decided to cheer all of you up and write this piece of junk. So what do you think?

See you later,

bruce

Closing my eyes and hittng send....

There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
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post #2 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 12:09 AM
 
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You will be just fine.

It's stress, we all have it.

If your mind is not clear and you have a lot of thoughts going though you head.....There is no need to be on the track.

I think you made the right choice!~

Maybe you should speak your mind to that close friend of yours?
Tell him how you feel. The more you get this into the open the more it will be off you mind.

Enjoy you port

Rob
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post #3 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 12:39 AM
 
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mid life crisis at 27?

just finish the rest of that bottle get some rest maybe puke in the mornin and you will be as good as new...
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post #4 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 12:43 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by ju6ganutz
mid life crisis at 27?

just finish the rest of that bottle get some rest maybe puke in the mornin and you will be as good as new...
LOL...no no...he is 47....You mis read.
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post #5 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 01:35 AM
bwa
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Cheer up Bruce.
I know I'm a youngin', but I believe this:
With age people get wiser.
Wiser doesn't imply "not as good" or "not up to par".
Wise decision doesn't always mean it's the best one for that particular moment. You could go to the track, and be perfectly fine. You have before as you said, when mentally you "weren't there". But if you look at the whole picture, it's not about you, but the ones you care about. If there is doubt, than there is no doubt. Not worth jeopardizing your loved ones.

Sorry for the long respond. Just my .02

Stress is a b!tch. Than you marry one j/k
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post #6 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 06:10 AM
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Bruce.....your a year older than I, but brother we're in the same position. I feel your pain. I think you did right thing, the smart thing. If your getting bad vibes don't ride. Your not old, your not fat, your just plain old fashion smart

Rick

Sometimes goodbye is your second chance.
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post #7 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 07:42 AM
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Bruce,

If it makes you feel any better I'm 28 and already fat and bald. Cheer up bro. Sounds like you got a great family. They'll be there for ya. You still have lots of other friends too.

Brian (F.K.A. Crazy)

Gamertag: CRAZY403


“You can’t escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”

-Abraham Lincoln


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post #8 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 08:00 AM
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Bruce,

You did good... when things don't feel right, you should defenetly step away from then. This sport is very dangerous and we all have to be careful and not push our luck. Looking at it from the logical point of view you obviously have tons of things in your mind and going out to the track when you are not focused 100% to me is not a good idea.

Life is not easy, but look at all you trial and tribulations as blessings that will make you grow and you will come out stronger. Things will get better, and your hard work will pay off... you motivation will infect others and you honesty will take you a long way.

Keep on fighting the good fight.

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post #9 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 08:56 AM
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Bruce You did good!

Trust me on this even if i am a decade or so behind ya! That "other" person talking to you is the one you need to listen to... He/gut knows what he is saying. It has NOTHING to do with your age as opposed to self preservation. Not to sound philosophical on your ass but it may not have anything to do with the track as opposed to a "feeling" of bad shit comin'.

I know it sounds crazy but when we had that group ride to Naperville something did not feel right and even Ken said the same thing. well into the ride we lost 2 bikes. (maintenance)

Also a certain rider at a certain place mentioned we better get going before a "bad thing" happens. Well a couple riders had to do a couple more things before (yep you guessed it) BAM!!
He was okay after some bad rash but the bike was lets say SCREWED for the long haul! Just lucky for him someone had a van we could load the "thing" in!

Go with your gut bud; He truly is your best and wisest friend!

<--Kelly

.

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2006 Honda CRF50
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post #10 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 09:04 AM
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Hell, I just turned 52. Cheer up. If it don't feel right, it probably isn't. That's something you've learned to respect in those 47 years. Congrats on making the right decision. Twenty years ago you may have made the wrong decision, and BAM!!! As for your other problems, remember, everyone is an asshole until they prove otherwise and if you've made it on your own for all those years, you must have what it takes to continue to do so. At 47, it ain't over yet. Oh yeah, I hope that wine bottle had a cork.

Synthetic Lifelike Organism Responsible for Observation and Logical Learning - SLOROLL

Remember there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over. Zappa 1974

And I said....."Look here brother, who you jiving with that cosmik debris? Now is that a real poncho or is that a Sears poncho? Zappa 1974
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post #11 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 09:37 AM
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Hey Bruce, Im flipping the odometer to 37 next week and I see guys 1/2 my age posting on here too. I have my own business..have a great family.. and I think the same way you do. The more you have..the more you could theoretically lose.

I generally put my family and business first..sometimes that gets to you too.. maybe there isnt a fine line to walk . Just roll with the punches man

Mike

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post #12 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 09:45 AM
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Welcome to the beginning of "Man, you do great for a guy your age!"

Hey, it sucks but what are you going to do?

I just remind myself of all the stupid things people do that I can see coming well in advance these days and can think to myself, "I KNEW that was going to happen".

Hang in there. There are a few older farts than you hanging around still!:-

Dave
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post #13 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 10:03 AM
 
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hay man if we didn't lows than the highs wouldent feel so good. You made the right choice not getting on the track. With bikes if you don't have your head in the game bad things can happen real fast. Keep your head up good things are right around the corner
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post #14 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 11:10 AM
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Bruce,

For what it's worth... you made the right choice.

Also, sometimes you need to say that sh!t out loud. Then when you sober up, you'll kick your own ass and you'll be right back in the game. Don't let it get to you, we all feel that way some times.

Jeff

2011 Suzuki GSXR750
2001 Suzuki GSXR600
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post #15 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 11:49 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks guys. I really appreciate the positive thoughts. I'm sober now and pretty OK with my decision. I just hope the little voice in my head keeps quiet more than he speaks up. Otherwise, Bruce will turn into a dull boy. I'm sure I would have been fine and would have had fun, but...

Robbie; BTW, he is a she and after being friends and working for me for over 4 years has turned into a crazed bitch. Since she is 26 and just quit to get married and move to Germany, there is no gain in pushing as too many bad things and very few good things can come out of it.

Peer group; I know I'm still fit and not a fat old fart, but you know "looking good for a guy 20 years younger than you" still sort of sucks. The pisser is I now need to regularly work at it and nothing I can do will really help the joints. If I worked out this hard 20 years ago I would have been a rock, not just in shape. Time marches on, but as you said we tend to get a little smarter. I too have called specific crashes and bad shit in advance. I'm also a superstitious SOB so I do listen to that little voice. Oh, it was a 94 vintage Port. Damn straight it had a cork. If I'm going to wallow in feeling bad for myself I'm not drinking the cheap stuff.

I guess I'm just majorly stressed. It's been a tough year with a lot of crap going down. I'll get over it. Thanks for the support!

There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
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post #16 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 12:02 PM
 
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If there is one thing that I know I learned when riding is.....


If you get bad vibes..... Don't ride!!! Yeah they may be bullshit but you never know!!!!! Then should anything trully happen... you would be like.. damn I should have listened to myself!!! You just never know. You following your head and not just your heart to want to ride, is wise... not weak.
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post #17 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 12:40 PM
"PC" ,my balls
 
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Stresses and bad feelings can happen at any age. You learn to listen as you get older. The only thing that would lead me to believe you are getting older is drinking port. J/K

My wife thinks we're a bunch of Top Gun wannabes with our call signs, so for future reference, I'm Roger

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post #18 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 01:13 PM Thread Starter
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Oh man, Porto rules when you want to get a warm buzz. It won't hammer you (without warning) and make you stupid like the hard stuff, but being fortified it's stronger than beer or wine. It's sort of like a civilized Mad Dog 20/20 and I've clearly outgrown that poison. lol I guess in this case getting old is a good thing.

There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
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post #19 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 01:16 PM
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do you ever really outgrow maddog 20/20? no one can out grow that fine liquor. Also in this category is Boones Farm Wine, OE 800, and any beer that comes in a container 24oz or larger.

Chris
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post #20 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 01:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vcook
do you ever really outgrow maddog 20/20? no one can out grow that fine liquor. Also in this category is Boones Farm Wine, OE 800, and any beer that comes in a container 24oz or larger.


sheeeeeeeeesh ...........now your making me feel old

Good thing I got a head start on the fat and bald part.

Brian (F.K.A. Crazy)

Gamertag: CRAZY403


“You can’t escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”

-Abraham Lincoln


“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt.”

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post #21 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-11-2003, 01:20 PM Thread Starter
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MD 20/20 is the only booze that had me seeing colors. While entertaining, it's wicked shit. Plus monster 3 day hang overs. Ouch.

There is nothing firm, nothing balanced, nothing durable in all the universe. Nothing remains in its original state, each day, each hour, each moment, there is change. Change is the essence of life. Embrace change as you do life. To fight change is to live in the past.
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post #22 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-13-2003, 08:04 AM
 
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Bruce it's a good thing you didn't go - I would have enlisted you as a 125 wrench anyways

About going bald - it's a less weight, more HP kinda thing... at least thats what I tell myself
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post #23 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-13-2003, 08:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Blade Runner
Plus monster 3 day hang overs. Ouch.
this is a gross understatement.

Chris
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post #24 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-13-2003, 08:15 AM
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Bald is sexy.

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post #25 of 25 (permalink) Old 08-13-2003, 08:24 AM
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hey bruce, i just read your post and no one elses so i dont know what else was said.

dude from 1 business owner to the other, ya know HOW IT IS on the business part.


other then that the personal part.
i hear ya man, and it isnt some old thing or young thing, its only THE SMART thing!
i know EXACTLY what your saying and i too start to think sometimes.
get this.

me and my wife had a STUPID argument RIGHT before i left, (which i dont like doing, as you know now that shit is in your mind and its not a good thing when on the track LET alone riding!)
i didnt even kiss her good bye, something ive NEVER done.

we didnt talk that whole night, UNTILL my brother calls me up saying he just noticed at home that someone must have side swiped one of ym work vans he was driving, doesnt know where or when

and that was like at 10 pm sunday night, NOT to mention, i had BAD vibs before i even left the house and before i had the agrument with the wife.

SO i also too thought, SHIT if i had'nt have to be there i probably wouldnt have went anyway.

but i had to go, and i still went on the track, took it easy all day, and each lap after the other, i was happy i was there.
during the day my wife called and we talked and both agreed it was stupid, and made up over the phone, (felt much better)
as for the van, well thats what insurance is for.

where am i going with this? i dont know i think i forgot

oh yeah.

dont let experance and a good head cload what your balls are thinking. and never give up the things that make you happy, some days it all comes together, and some days ya cant get nothing right.

and what are you talking about too, your probably in better condition then my fat ass



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