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Thoughts about our fragile lives...

2K views 22 replies 19 participants last post by  SmartBiker 
#1 ·
When we were kids, still dependent on mom and dad, we thought we knew everything. The world was open to us, yet we needed to take growth steps to make it and survive.

Our life is a non-stop ride to our death. No matter how we live it or what we do, the end is inevitable. I have lost friends before. This is not new. As we get older, we see more and more of this. Some we expect, some we do not.

With Ashwin's death, it got me thinking even more than I already have in recent months and years. I think about all the people in my life. I think about purpose. I think about what it really means to be a participant on this planet with everyone. What am I doing to make a difference in people's lives? What am I doing to make a difference in this world? Isn't that what really matters? Getting past what "we" feel is important to "us", do we really see the big picture and work to improve it? Or do we focus inward, on our small lives, and not make a difference in the lives and well-being of others?

I am gripped with an overwhelming sense that I fall so short of my potential to do what is right all the time. Not only for myself personally, but for the people within my sphere of influence (family, friends, acquaintances). WHile I cannot get over, right now, the tragedy of Ashwin's passing, I still cannot stop reminding myself that this should be a wake up call to make every day count and to positively affect the lives of the people around us.

I feel, today, we have a better appreciation for our life. I know I do. So what do we do with it? What do I do with it? Do I shrug my shoulders and say there is nothing I can really do? Or do I pick up the shovel and pick axe and continue to build a better life for myself and those around me?

It's so easy to look at our lives and think that so much of the petty nature of each day consumes us. Our little road rage incidences... Our impatience while waiting in line at the grocery store for the old lady to count her exact change... etc.

What is important? Really important?
 
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#5 ·
In the 50= plus years I've been around, I've experienced the same type of feelings that you describe. You are facing 2 things with the death of your friend...neither of which no one wants to face. One is your mortality. The other is the fact that in spite of your own impression of yourself and your feelings, you are human with faults and frailtys.
Ultimately, there are only 2 things you can do...Keep living because life goes on and do your best to be a good person to those around you that need you to be good to them...like the old lady counting change.
No one is promised tomorrow, but as long as tomorrow keeps coming, that's what is important. Just to keep going and do your best. At least that's the way I see it.
My condolences to all who lost a friend. I did not know Ashwin, but judging by the threads and posts, he was pretty special to those who did know him
 
#6 ·
Amen paul. after reading what happend and the passing of ashwin. it got me thinking on a few levels right were you are.

Life is fragile and at any moment eaither one of us could be gone, wether its just not waking up or due to riding.

Paul hit on a very great point that we all know but not always take to heart, but eharing all the stories of ashwin Im pretty sure he did. Live life and love it.

i started thinking last night about thoes in CLSB world who have really taken to heart what i think paul was hitting on. how to make the lives of thoes around you a little bit better. there has been a few of you and chances are if youve helped me out.....yes im talking about you i again say thank you its your help and kidness that is invaluable to me and puts a light in this screwy world.

so im with paul on this after hearing what happend to ashwin if theres anything I can do to brighten someones day or make it their life a little easier. im down.

this week CLSB and this world unfortunatly lost a very good man, who seemed to stive to love life/riding/ and his family/friends. i cant even remember how many post ive read saying how he always had a smile and you can tell he just wanted to listen to you talk, and how he brighten peoples day or lifes. thats a rare thing in life to find in this day, and i personally take that as a life lesson.

How do you make someones day or life better......easier done than said (yea you read right). The little things is what does it, wether its paying for someones drink at starbuck, covering the toll of the person behind you. or just listening and for just a second putting someone else before you. thats how you make a diffrence in the world

The little i knew him, but all i hear of him has made me want to not so much make a change in my life for the better but more remindes me of what i want/need to do in life to make a diffrence to thoes around me. For that i say thanks ashwin.
 
#7 · (Edited)
I think about all the people in my life. I think about purpose. I think about what it really means to be a participant on this planet with everyone. What am I doing to make a difference in people's lives? What am I doing to make a difference in this world? Isn't that what really matters? Getting past what "we" feel is important to "us", do we really see the big picture and work to improve it? Or do we focus inward, on our small lives, and not make a difference in the lives and well-being of others?
:iagree:

Words to live by... well put Paul. Signature worthy...
 
#9 ·
Do you have any children?

I am guessing that you don't, because that should be the biggest influence for you to be the best person you can be.

99.99% of us won't be the next Gandhi; we won't save the world from wars, famine or disease. But if you can sleep at night knowing that you made someone smile today, then the world is better because you are around.

Glenn
 
#12 ·
Do you have any children?

I am guessing that you don't, because that should be the biggest influence for you to be the best person you can be.

I wish all parents felt that way. Sadly, we have a lot of shining examples of where that is not the case. I'd like to hope that I would react correctly when, and if, I have my own kids. Good point.
 
#10 ·
I truly believe that Ashwin left an uneraseable footprint in our lives... his actions and character set the standard for how we all could behave towards one another...

The fact that people are taking inventory of their lives and actions is a way to honor his memory. I for one went to bed hoping that I would wake up and it would all be a bad dream... but it wasn't:mecry:

When I put together Rob's birthday party, he didn't think twice about how far of a drive it would be or how inconvenient the time or lacation would be... he immediately said yes and offered to help... He arrived with a smile on his face and took the time to thank me for inviting him... when in actuality I felt thankful that he felt strongly enough to be there for his friend.

I didn't get much of an opportunity to talk with him but I know from Rob's rides with him that he was an outstanding type of guy and that he made their rides more enjoyable and peaceful. I never had to worry because Rob repeatedly told me that Ashwin was as safe a rider as they come... level headed and happy... he was always a gentleman to me and that means a lot in my book.

Every day I pray for the strength, patience, and wisdom to endure what the day may bring, and yesterday it took all that I had to get through the work day... at home, it all came at me like a locomotive at full speed... the many times my love is out on the road I worry and jump every time my phone rings... but I always ask God to send along one of His angels to ride along him and keep him safe.

I understand we all have a purpose in life, whether it be to be a mother/father, a good friend, a teacher by example, or an angel in disguise for someone in need, but we all have to be willing to take on those roles and responsibilities in order to fulfill them... perhaps Ashwin was sent to us to help us see what a smile and a kind word can do for people around us.

In life I have lost friends and family and it hurts so very much, but I take comfort in knowing that the memories can not be lost... they are ours to treasure like rare diamonds.

Prayers for Ashwin's family and all of those in mourining... may God ward us from all evil, sin, and temptation, so that we may honor His word and the memory of our friend, Ashwin.
 
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#17 ·
I truly believe that Ashwin left an uneraseable footprint in our lives... his actions and character set the standard for how we all could behave towards one another...
Yeah no doubt, I honestly can't remember a time when he did anything bad. He respected everyone and always had a great attitude.

This is a good point, life is really fragile and I was thinking about this all night. I didn't sleep all night just thinking about all the memories with Ash. I think we got along so well because we were both kind of quiet guys who loved bikes and agreed on a lot of things. We could talk for hours in his garage and we both learned so much from each other. We could talk about our mistakes on and off the track and we could always figure things out together. One time I remember that he called me and told me that he was having trouble pulling the motor out of his project bike. I headed over to his place and after having a beer and working for 20 minutes, we had the motor out. He was just so knowledgeable about a lot of things and I loved hanging out with him at bike nights, shows, trackdays, races, bars, or just in his garage. Another thing I loved about the guy was that he always found ways to make me laugh. From the time he led me onto a gravel road on a ride to the time we almost got his new subaru stuck in water coming from Indy LOL. One funny moment was a summer day after an autobahn trackday when his bike almost fell off of my trailer and onto the highway. We were both exhausted from the heat and the trackday and were not thinking right. As we're cruising down the highway, I look in my rear view mirror and I only see my bike on the trailer. I look in my right side rear view mirror and his bike is laying on it's side and half of it is inches from the ground. The look on Ashwin's face when I told him was priceless :laughing: I pulled over and Ashwin ran to the trailer and cradled that bike like a baby so it wouldn't touch the ground. Man he loved that bike. Turns out he was so tired that he didn't strap his bike down properly before we left the track. We laughed our asses off the whole way home and by next season he bought a van to transport his bike LOL. Ashwin was very mature for his age, but whenever he had his "Oh shit" moments, he looked at me with this innocent face so I could bail him out and that's when I realized he was a real young guy. Man I'm going to miss that guy. I was looking forward to finishing school and buying my new bike so we could do trackdays so I'm bummed about that. I wish I would've been able to ride with him the last couple of years or at least got to hang out with him more. Life is really fragile, you do really have to love and hug everyone around you.
 
#11 ·
I just told Esme that as a parent I not only grieve for the loss of a fallen rider, but also for his parents. It's not natural to outlive your children.

I'm one of those people that will do anything for my friends. If I have something and you need it, it's yours. I try to make the best of my time. This was a lesson I learned when my father passed. I was 12 and saw that he had not made the best of his life. I swore then and there I would not be the same.

Please be thankful for each and every day with your friends, family and loved ones. Tell them you love them, everyday.

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift, that's why we call it the present. Please make the most of the gift you have been given, you are never guaranteed another one.
 
#13 ·
Mandy is right... the loss of a child is such horrible pain and yesterday was just too much to digest... first the loss of Ashwin and then I found out that my friend's baby has passed away in her womb...

I can only thank God for the opportunity to be Julie's mom and the priviledge of raising her... I hope I am setting the best example possible so that if and when my time comes, she will live by those memories and strive to be even better.

Before I forget, may God bless all of you.
 
#14 ·
Good write up Paul , It does make you think about life and maybe try to
extend our hand out to people that aren't in our everyday circle and to
forgive those that are in our circle. To try to be more patient with strangers and friends , and to go out of are way to extend a hand to people with no strings attatched and just try to follow Christ's way and be a better person to yourself and everybody around you.God bless Ashwin and his family at this very hard time for there lose
 
#16 ·
Paul,

Nice words you've shared - it's tough to articulate these thoughts and feelings in writing, but you did so in a way that I think a lot of us relate to.

I hadnt had the chance, or from what I've been reading, pleasure, to meet Ashwin, but it sounds like he lived and died in a way that we'll remember and learn from. It's definitely pushed me into a reflective space.
As you say, death is guaranteed, for all of us. Will we hide from it in our day to day irrelevances, or face it, acknowledge it, and even celebrate it, because through an appreciation of death, I believe we all can live better lives.

As a strange prelude to yesterday's events, riding on the bus to work I finished a book "the death of Ivan Illych" by Leo Tolstoy. In a nut shell, the book is a reminder of the inevitability of death, yet the lies we often live in to hide from it, through our insecurities, egos, or what have you. It's easy to get deeply lost in the world around us.

As far as living a better life, I remind myself often of a Ghandi quote:
"be the change you want to see in the world". It helps, for me at least.

Peace all.
 
#19 ·
I was were you are about this exact time last year when I lost a very close frond of mine named Greg - I think about him everyday - I am even looking at his Bldg right now as I type this - Normally, I would be getting a txt from him asking me what was up for tonight - I have tons of emails left from him that I will never delete and his cell # is still in my cell phonebook too

It is tough Paul and I know exactly what you are going though -That is why when 2009 came to be, I began a change in myself to become a better person - I have done many "little" things to begin the process and am happy about where I am now in comparison to 2008

Start with you and you will begin to see how that positively impacts others - I am not sure what you are focusing on but if you want, give me a call dude and we can chat

Oh and I want your Goldwing for the F4T
 
#21 ·
A lot of good words in this thread. More people should feel the way you guys do. I can say first hand that being a good person, helping, sharing ,and listening to those around you goes a long way in life. It can truly elevate you to a place that no harm can be done to your soul.



Stay strong and pay it forward!!!!!
 
#23 · (Edited)
life is nothing but a set of choices you make for yourself. i live by the rule of you either make friends OR make a difference. i learned that when you make a diffrence in a persons life, you will always have friends.

also i try to see beyond a persons faults and strive to see the best and whats possible for other people.

i never met Ashwin, but i truly believe he touched and inspired all those around him.
 
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