Gotta love "BROtocross" and his NFG (No Fucks Given) attitude of writing (gotta love the Eazy E Photschop too)
Racists or just good clean fun?
Since most interviews suck, I decided to take matters into my own hands, by literally making the whole thing up. This is not really to make fun of anyone, itís just to amuse people.
What is the major difference between James Stewart and his competitors? Thatís right, he rides a Suzuki. But heís also black. I would never consider myself a racist, but I am an asshole who likes to take certain aspects of a riderís persona and exploit them for my own amusement. This is my (entirely fake) interview with James Stewart if he was a thug-ass gangster:
BRO: James, thanks for taking the time and sitting down with me today
Gangster James: [talking on the phone] Yeah, Iíll meet you on Crenshaw. Hang on, this mark ass cracka is all mean mugginí me and shit. Yeah son, he about to get clapped up real quick [hangs up phone] Yeah it was a tragedy. Wait what was the question again?
BRO: I havenít asked you one, James
James: James is my slave name. The hood named me J-Mac.
BRO: Fair enough. J-Mac, what are your expectations coming into Hangtown?
James: Yíall mahfuckas ainít even know. Iím about that track, and ainít nobody on my level. I go toe-to-toe with anybody up in that bitch. Foolís playiní with some whack KTM and Kawasaki bullshit íbout to get checked.
BRO: How do you feel on the bike as far as the set-up?
James: Did you not just hear me, Ben Affleck? Iím finna fuck some shit up. You wanna know how we test? I shoot a [email protected]
in the face in front of the po-lice. If I get away, the bike is dialed. You see chains? You see a jump suit? I ainít in Chino. I keeps it one hunnid, nawímísayin?
BRO: Your problem for the past few years has been staying off the ground. What are you doing to make sure you finish all 24 motos this year?
James: Listen, Iím hard as fuck. I break more bones in my pimp hand than anything. Bitches gettiní outta line and shit.
BRO: That could be construed as sexist, J-Mac.
James: You talkiní, bitch? Iíma slap the taste out ya mouf you do that again.
BRO: Message received. So I assume you are not much a fan of WMA then?
James: Fuck is that? Like MDMA? I luh dat shit, always on the thizz game, nawímísayin?
BRO: No, WMA Ė the womenís motocross association. It might be WMX now but who really keeps track?
James: Bitches ainít shit. Any ho step to me and itís a hard trip to the ground cominí right up, nawímísayin?
BRO: 10-4. So the class is pretty stacked this year. Who is your biggest competition?
James: [email protected]
I invented the competition. Only mothafucka who can step to me is god, and if he values his cheekbones, I suggest he not. But Villopoto and Dungey, to answer your actual question, sir.
BRO: How is the team around you?
James: All you need to know is I ainít on a shit-ass bike with a bunch of trifliní mothafuckas. Iím goiní hard in the paint.
BRO: I donít know what that means. So youíre expecting a win?
James: All I do is win and drop heat rocks. My debut album, Scrubbiní Ainít Easy, droppiní in the coming months. One love, bitches.
BRO: Thanks James. And to leave the readers with your everlasting words: One love, bitches.