Dear EMR, I got no game.... - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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What would EMR do?? It's dear Abby on acid

 
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-16-2008, 03:40 PM Thread Starter
EMR
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Dear EMR, I got no game....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Blueballs
Dear EMR,

I seem to be pretty good at establishing friendships with women but I seem to never be to fully close the deal and always get stuck in The Zone. This leads to the girl always choosing the bigger dumber boring asshole. What am I doing wrong?

Signed,

Eternal Blueballs
Dear EB,
I get this question a lot so it's high time I address it. It seems complex but the reason this is happening is very simple:

You're trying to be friends with girls you want to fuck.

This is a mistake. Be friends with girls you want to be friends with, maybe one night when you're both drunk you can have no strings sex but that shouldn't be your goal. If you had any game I'd just recommend playing it cool and letting them come to you, but since that doesn't seem to be your strong suit I suggest pursuit with the intent of plowage not with the intent of friendship. Make this clear. Once you master this you will have graduated to the "letting them come to you stage".

Sincerely,
EMR

Tips:
  • Internet pursuit doesn't count, don't be just another leg humper
  • Recognize the difference between pursuit and stalking, don't be a stalker
  • You'll quickly learn the chase as almost as much fun as the capture, this is why a catch and release plan is encouraged.
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-16-2008, 03:44 PM
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Wow. An actual serious reply. We want the real EMR dammit!!!
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-16-2008, 04:10 PM
pfft.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EMR View Post
Dear EMR, I got no game....
Drama, aren't you supposed to be working and not wasting your time writing Dear EMR letters?

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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-16-2008, 04:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ill_ag View Post
Drama, aren't you supposed to be working and not wasting your time writing Dear EMR letters?

Huh...and I was immediately thinking BurntAsh.

aut cum scuto aut in scuto

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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-16-2008, 05:04 PM
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catch and release plan...
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-16-2008, 07:18 PM
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its so simple!

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-16-2008, 07:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CHI1000RR View Post
catch and release plan...
thats usually when theyre too big to take home from the pond right?

Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest - Denis Diderot
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