Relationships make you weak!!!!!!! - Chicagoland Sportbikes
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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-04-2009, 11:29 AM Thread Starter
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Relationships make you weak!!!!!!!

First off a little history. I have been married and divorced and have kids. In my lifetime I have been in short relationships along with long relationships.

I don't get the kill myself, stalk you, crawl in a corner and cry all day mentality. I am sure someone will say I haven't truely loved someone. I would disagree. I have watched them walk because I couldn't make them happy. Tried my best but couldn't. I loved them enough to let them go so they could find someone to make them happy. Once they are gone I don't care who they are dating or sleeping with. Big deal. Yes it might hurt a little on the inside to see it but not enough to throw my life away. Why do people use facebook or myspace or friends or locations to keep track of X's. I don't get it. If X talks to people why does that end up in a catfight, fist fight, or verbal confrontation. I don't get it.

If my mate decides to leave I am the type to say ok see ya! Don't get me wrong relationships are work and I am more than willing to put in the effort but if it goes past that to good bye then I will be the one happy and flyin solo!

So WTF am I crazy, stupid or just excentric?

Living life! Because before you know it it is over!

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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-04-2009, 11:37 AM
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your none of the above buddy. Yea relationships are work any normal human knows that. But i for one give you props on being able to check the ego and emotions and let someone walk away so they can be happy. and yet not go be so hurt as not to be able to move on. as not many can do that.

you should ask your self this. when said person walks way do you actually deal with it and move on or just hide from the emotions. if your answer is A. then your a strong man.

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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-04-2009, 11:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wingit View Post
First off a little history. I have been married and divorced and have kids. In my lifetime I have been in short relationships along with long relationships.

I don't get the kill myself, stalk you, crawl in a corner and cry all day mentality. I am sure someone will say I haven't truely loved someone. I would disagree. I have watched them walk because I couldn't make them happy. Tried my best but couldn't. I loved them enough to let them go so they could find someone to make them happy. Once they are gone I don't care who they are dating or sleeping with. Big deal. Yes it might hurt a little on the inside to see it but not enough to throw my life away. Why do people use facebook or myspace or friends or locations to keep track of X's. I don't get it. If X talks to people why does that end up in a catfight, fist fight, or verbal confrontation. I don't get it.

If my mate decides to leave I am the type to say ok see ya! Don't get me wrong relationships are work and I am more than willing to put in the effort but if it goes past that to good bye then I will be the one happy and flyin solo!

So WTF am I crazy, stupid or just excentric?
You're doing the right thing. I hate people (especially guys) that dwell on their ex's. It's a waste of time and energy and in the end, you're the one assed out because she's probably out getting 3 holed by Tiger Hood, Bubba Jenkins, and Bug.

IMO, being friends with ex's is bad news.

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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-04-2009, 11:49 AM
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+1 the ex is an ex. If they continue to try and remain friends run for the hills. It'll only lead to relapse. As far as dwelling it depends on how much of a rut they put you in. I'd say there's definitely different levels. Cheating, debt, stole your dog and ran off with your twin brother.

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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-04-2009, 12:04 PM
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I'm in the same mode as you Wingit. What really gets me is that 10 or 15 years later, they come back and want to start things up again. WTF? It's happened twice now, and I turned both down. No need for repeat drama.

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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-04-2009, 12:06 PM
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Relationships don't make you weak.... if you learn from the failures and successes, you will only grow stronger.

Good luck and yes, I concur... an ex is an ex for a reason... would you use a life boat that is breaks once again?

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-04-2009, 12:16 PM
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You're only weak if you throw the pictures out before posting them on some p0rn revenge site. It's also not a bad idea to try and keep contact with your ex's so that there a shot for some Ex Sex. No bullshit involved, just showing up and taking care of what you both want.

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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-04-2009, 02:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wingit View Post
First off a little history. I have been married and divorced and have kids. In my lifetime I have been in short relationships along with long relationships.

I don't get the kill myself, stalk you, crawl in a corner and cry all day mentality. I am sure someone will say I haven't truely loved someone. I would disagree. I have watched them walk because I couldn't make them happy. Tried my best but couldn't. I loved them enough to let them go so they could find someone to make them happy. Once they are gone I don't care who they are dating or sleeping with. Big deal. Yes it might hurt a little on the inside to see it but not enough to throw my life away. Why do people use facebook or myspace or friends or locations to keep track of X's. I don't get it. If X talks to people why does that end up in a catfight, fist fight, or verbal confrontation. I don't get it.

If my mate decides to leave I am the type to say ok see ya! Don't get me wrong relationships are work and I am more than willing to put in the effort but if it goes past that to good bye then I will be the one happy and flyin solo!

So WTF am I crazy, stupid or just excentric?
I'm the same way. If you aren't happy with me, there is the door. Sure it stings, but it is what it is and no sense in dwelling or whatever you want to call it on the issue. How long you have been together also plays a factor on how much you think of her still and how the relationship was until the end. Friends with Ex's is usually not a good idea at first, but they can become friends later at least that is how I view it.

You can't take the hurt and bad experience you had with your previous relationships into your new one as it will only make the new one fail inevitably. Focus on yourself first before getting into another relationship otherwise you will take all that bad experience with you and use that to "control" the new one in a way because of the insecurities or fear of being hurt again therefor tryingn to change the person you get into a new relationship with.

As far as stalking people online well that's why you have the option to lock down your profile.

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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-04-2009, 03:39 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by streetracin1820 View Post
your none of the above buddy. Yea relationships are work any normal human knows that. But i for one give you props on being able to check the ego and emotions and let someone walk away so they can be happy. and yet not go be so hurt as not to be able to move on. as not many can do that.

you should ask your self this. when said person walks way do you actually deal with it and move on or just hide from the emotions. if your answer is A. then your a strong man.

Keep on riding buddy
I am definately an A answer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Esme View Post
Relationships don't make you weak.... if you learn from the failures and successes, you will only grow stronger.

Good luck and yes, I concur... an ex is an ex for a reason... would you use a life boat that is breaks once again?
yes you can grow stronger if you learn from the experience. What I am really getting at is the people who break down over a break up. The people who say "They are my life". That is BS!

As far as rekindling an X....... Kinda like the lottery it could happen but hardly ever does. I do think if it is good break up you can remain friends.

Living life! Because before you know it it is over!

Joe

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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-04-2009, 03:40 PM Thread Starter
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Oh BTW I am not having any EX issues. Just came out of a discussion with co-workers.

Living life! Because before you know it it is over!

Joe

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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-04-2009, 03:54 PM
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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 09-04-2009, 04:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stkr View Post
You're only weak if you throw the pictures out before posting them on some p0rn revenge site. It's also not a bad idea to try and keep contact with your ex's so that there a shot for some Ex Sex. No bullshit involved, just showing up and taking care of what you both want.
you're awesome jim............... defendantly pimp status yo

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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-22-2010, 06:42 PM

 
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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-22-2010, 07:07 PM
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Joe I have known you long enough to know , NO you can't totally connect mind and soul with a women. For that reason it fails eventually they see this Joe and call it quites or you walk like it's nothing.

Sorry bro but you asked.



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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-22-2010, 07:21 PM
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Re: Relationships make you weak!!!!!!!

Forum rules I thought only EMR could reply first.

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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-22-2010, 08:51 PM
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Hey Joe....where you been???

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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-23-2010, 05:26 PM
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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 02-23-2010, 05:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wingit View Post

I don't get the kill myself, stalk you, crawl in a corner and cry all day mentality.

If my mate decides to leave I am the type to say ok see ya! Don't get me wrong relationships are work and I am more than willing to put in the effort but if it goes past that to good bye then I will be the one happy and flyin solo!

So WTF am I crazy, stupid or just excentric?
the kill myself, stalking is because some people get addicted to the other person i think. and then they have control issues which is a total illusion.

are you crazy? NO---you're mentally and emotionally healthy in dealing with things this way.
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