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Workin' up to the track
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
VOLUME 31 ISSUE 16 — 29 APRIL 1997
Ünited Stätes Toughens Image With Umlauts
WASHINGTON, DC—In a move designed to make the United States seem more "bad-assed and scary in a quasi-heavy-metal manner," Congress passed a bill Monday changing the nation's name to the Ünited Stätes of Ämerica. "Much like Mötley Crüe and Motörhead, the Ünited Stätes is not to be messed with," said Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK). An upcoming redesign of the Ämerican flag will feature the new name in burnished silver wrought in a jagged, gothic font and bolted to a black background. A new national anthem is also in the works, to be written by composer Glenn Danzig and tentatively titled "Howl Of The She-Demon."

:laughing
 

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(no comment)
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I haven't been there in a long time, but the people who put that out are geniuses. I was at Oakbrook Center on Sunday and saw a guy wearing an Onion.com t-shirt. It gave me a smile.
 

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Please attend carefully..
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2,625 Posts
I still get a kick out of the "Microsoft patents one, zeroes" article a few years ago!
 

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BEER!
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5,970 Posts
ricerocket said:
I haven't been there in a long time, but the people who put that out are geniuses. I was at Oakbrook Center on Sunday and saw a guy wearing an Onion.com t-shirt. It gave me a smile.
I've got their.. "I'm like a chocoholic, but for booze" T-shirt. It shows up on the group rides occationally. I need to check their site out since the paper version isn't out down here :(

Chris
 

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Super Moderator,
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43,221 Posts
about a month or so ago the site went through an update, and at the same time the writing staff must have changed. The writing is noticably not nearly as funny. Still pretty good though.
 

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Special Agent Lance Boyle
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My favorite headline was
" Hanson wins NAMBLA award."

:laughing
 

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BEER!
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5,970 Posts
My favorite was always 'BEER!' Showed a drunk college guy (slightly overweight) with a pitcher of beer and obviously drunk. The entire contents of the front page consisted of the word 'beer'. Beer, beer, beer, it's f'n cool. Beer, it's great, beer, beer, beer, beer.

Absolutely classic. I'll have to shoot a picture of it and post it. Hilarious stuff. I think I need to frame that one!

Chris
 
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