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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Beer Troubleshooting



SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
CAUSE: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.


SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
CAUSE: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.


SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
CAUSE: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.


SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
CAUSE: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar.


SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
CAUSE: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.


SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
CAUSE: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.


SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
CAUSE: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.


SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
CAUSE: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.


SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
CAUSE: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender, take taxi home.


SYMPTOM: Vehicle's interior suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
CAUSE: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.
SECOND OPTION: Open door; extend head.


SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
CAUSE: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.


SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
CAUSE: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.


SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
CAUSE: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.


SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone. Don't recognize the room you're in.
CAUSE: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.


SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
CAUSE: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.


SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
CAUSE: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

:rofl :rofl
 

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I think I am going to put this new found knowledge to good use tonight. :D :D
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
GsxrTony said:
I think I am going to put this new found knowledge to good use tonight. :D :D
That's what I was thinking. Now get your ass back over to my place and help me finish all that beer you left in my refridgerator.:D
 

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Ok twist my arm. LOL :cheers :cheers
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
GsxrTony said:
Ok twist my arm. LOL :cheers :cheers


(BIG TWIST):D :laughing I get home at 6pm anytime after is fine.:cheers :cheers
 

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OK, it's time to play "Let's finish the song"

I'll start:

"In heaven there is no beer"
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Norseman82 said:
OK, it's time to play "Let's finish the song"

I'll start:

"In heaven there is no beer"

:( :( NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:(
 
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