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A young couple just got married and arrived at there honeymoon suite. They had both been waiting for this moment forever since they had both saved themselves for this very moment. The groom goes into the bathroom and takes off his shoes. Just then he remembers he has a deep dark secret to tell his new bride. His feet smell awful. He couldn't figure out a way to tell her so he just hopped into bed. then the bride rushed to the bathroom and she started brushing her teeth. She remembered she had something to tell her groom. she had awful breath. So she jumps into bed and looks over at her new groom and says..."I have something I need to tell you". The groom looks her strraight in the eye and says....."Oh my God...you ate my socks??????":D :D :laughing :laughing
 

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Tgf Og
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9,851 Posts
Time sure flies-are we having fun?
1972: Long hair
2002: Longing for hair

1972: The perfect high
2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1972: KEG
2002: EKG

1972: Acid rock
2002: Acid reflux

1972: Moving to California because it's cool
2002: Moving to California because it's warm

1972: Growing pot
2002: Growing pot belly

1972: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2002: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1972: Seeds and stems
2002: Roughage

1972: Popping pills, smoking joints
2002: Popping joints

1972: Killer weed
2002: Weed killer

1972: Hoping for a BMW
2002: Hoping for a BM

1972: The Grateful Dead
2002: Dr. Kevorkian

1972: Going to a new, hip joint
2002: Receiving a new hip joint

1972: Rolling Stones
2002: Kidney Stones

1972: Being called into the principal's office
2002: Calling the principal's office

1972: Screw the system
2002: Upgrade the system

1972: Disco
2002: Costco

1972: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2002: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1972: Taking acid
2002: Taking antacid

1972: Passing the drivers' test
2002: Passing the vision test

1972: Whatever
2002: Depends
 

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Who's faster Lupi
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4,957 Posts
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether
they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or
students...here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can
take comfort from the thought that even God's
omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and
Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey
Eve...we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making
the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His
children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment
was that Adam and Eve should have children of their
own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never
changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give
children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be
hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising
children, what makes you think it would be a piece of
cake for you?



THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the
next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your
own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat
their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they
usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have
said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is
to remind yourself that there are children more awful
than your own.

6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still
getting in.



ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will
choose your nursing home.


AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET
A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM
CHILDREN"
 
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